Thursday, April 30, 2009

Got to give a tight slap to myself.

I almost broke the vow I've made earlier.

Arrghhhhhh...

Looks like the chinese herbal tea isn't that bitter as it seemed. Cos this is much worse.

Stick to it, for God's sake!

P/s: Without realising, it's already the third post of the day. What has gotten into me? ##@!$@!!!!


太多疑問
知道答案又如何

心痛比快樂更真實
愛為何這樣的諷刺
我忘了這是第幾次
一見你就無法堅持

孤獨比擁抱更真實
愛讓人失去了理智
會不會是我太自私
拒絕更寂寞的日子

放不開
也看不見未來

難道這種不完美
才是愛情真實的樣子



I'll just do it

Apparently, no one is a bigger sinner than I am, really.

I've never kept to my words or promises that I made earlier, which makes me a really irresponsible person. My actions often differ from what I had in mind. Worse is, my determination (to stick to my words) always collapse when I find it difficult to explain what I just did.

But I ought to change that now.

I'm going to keep to my words and stay out for the betterment of everyone. I NEED to. I HAVE to.

If I don't, please spank me :P

P/s: Stumbled upon a song, (Last Flight Out by Plus One) which I've not heard for years. Now, it's back again.

So, was it fate?

You might have a different answer but I choose to believe in it. Yup, the word FATE. Because that is the only answer to all the questions that have been dancing in my head now.



Sunday, April 26, 2009

busy life leading to mood instability....it's true.

I'm shouting out loudddddd!

I've been busy, busy, busy. Period.

Been busy working and I've been busy searching for items that I should get with my salary. All of a sudden, I fully realize the importance of money. And that is also one thing that drives me to work here in Nike. I need to earn money to get things that I really want. Unfortunately, the things that I want or need often cost me a bomb. At least more than a hundred bucks for each of the items that I need. After counting again and again, the total amount of the items that I want far exceeded the amount I'm earning. What a sad truth to be learnt now that I'm barely working for a month...

Wait a minute.

I should probably start looking from a different angle. I am a lot better than those unfortunate ones, especially those who are starving or homeless elsewhere. At least I have food to eat, a job to support my shopaholism (if there's a term) and a house to live in.

Likewise, they will never have enough food to put on the table for the whole family. They're either starving or living on the charity of others (which is only once in a blue moon). But, we just never seem to be grateful of what we have.

Yes, I'm talking about myself too. I complain a lot about things that I don't have (it's always $, mind you)

Whenever I see people eating half of the food on the plate and leaving the rest of it untouched, there is a sense of madness deep down inside myself that questions their actions. Don't they realize that the food that they're about to throw away can be a week's worth of food for many others? Can't they see how fortunate they are compared to those who have nothing to eat? And so why are they wasting their food? I don't know...it's just...

I just can't tolerate the sight of people wasting food. If you really want to do it, at least do it far away from me. And may God bless you for your actions.



Friday, April 17, 2009

People that I meet

So, when you fail to catch what the other person is saying, do you blame it on your own low level of understanding or the other person's failure to explain?

At first, I thought it was the former. I thought I was connected wrongly in the antenna and that is why I couldn't receive whatever signals that my colleagues are trying to send to me. But eventually, I start to believe that I am fine.

Perfectly fine indeed.

This is because after a long analysis, I finally know WHY!

The problem surfaces when they talk to me in mandarin very quickly and I often had to make them repeat to me what they intend to say. Sometimes, even after numerous repetition, I still fail to grasp what they're trying to tell me. By then, they will be too annoyed by my 'Huh?" "What?" and ended up getting irritated. Sigh...This is probably why they find it really difficult to talk to me and vice versa.

Apart from this, there are a few things that I had observed during my three weeks of work. And I just got to share it!!

First: Most people love to come when the shop is about to close, that is at 9.44pm. I guess it is just their habit to stop by a minute or two before we close the counter and count the stocks. Worse is, we just cannot refuse their entry. It's business, for God's sake!

And sometimes even after we're closed, there are still people banging on the door, asking us to open and let them come in. They probably love NIKe way tooooooo much..

Second: There is this lady who entered the shop with her son who is about 18 years old. I truly believe that an 18 year old teenager will have the capability to choose what he wants according to his own preferences and not to depend on his mother. But I was wrong again! His mother specifically REQUESTED me to look around the shop for pants that suit her son. If the boy could tell me what he wants, it would be easier as I would just have to bring him over to the respective section. NO!

The boy obviously isn't interested in doing that and depended entirely on his mother to make the choice. And the mother passed on the job to me in looking for the perfect pants for the son. Okay, fine. I'll just have to accept that it's part of my job. So I carried my job dutifully and took all the shorts from the shop (except girls' section, unless he really wants it) and passed it to the boy. He turned to his mother and once again, the mother is making the choice for her son. Well, they did buy a pair at the end but is that what the boy really wants? Or what the mum wants her son to be seen in?

Third: It was a full-packed day where we had the arrival of new stocks. Then, this guy came in. He was smartly dressed, spoke perfect English and looked really gentleman. He took a shirt from the rack and put it on in the fitting room. He then came out and told me he wanted 2 of them. Immediately, I went to the store room and brought out 2 similar shirts for that gentleman. He said he wanted to make sure that they fit and so, he put them on again in the fitting room. This time around, he told me he didn't like the colour. It's the same T shirt, my God!!

This is not the worst yet.


Then, this guy walked to the shoes section and picked one of the shoes on the display board. I asked him for his shoe size and he claimed he doesn't know. So, I asked him to put on the shoe that he wanted to see if it fits. (It was the left side of the shoe btw). He refused. He told me he can only wear his shoe on the right feet and asked me to get the right side of the shoe for him. Once again, I ran to the store room and got him the side he wanted. And I've got to tell you I really want to strangle this guy. Without putting them on, he said it is not nice anymore and he doesn't even want to try it. Now tell me, is this guy fooling around with me? Is he testing my patience??? Argghh....worse is, I even have to smile to him despite me feeling so annoyed and irritated.

Actually, there are just too many stories to share. I meet different type of people everyday where some are extremely nice but some are just....bad..REALLY BAD. They annoy me. They're irritating. They're demanding. They just piss me off.

Unfortunately, those nice ones aren't regular customers but those bad ones are. :(:(:(

I'm predicting bad days ahead....


Monday, April 13, 2009

It's all about the money

Does money always give one a certain level of power over the others?

Fine.

I admit.

I've got the answers in my hands but maybe, I just refuse to believe in it.

Finally, some answers....

I have at least one dream every night. Sometimes, multiple of them in one night alone.

And now, I'm really glad that the answers to some of my questions can be unveiled with the help of MSN. It featured an article which explains the top 10 common dreams and I think it's pretty interesting, though some may not be true.

I've done a memory flashback and so far, out of all these 10 dreams, I've encountered at least...half of them. Very common indeed.

1. You find yourself back in the classroom, or you've failed a test. Checked.
I've got a dream about this just days before the SPM and it repeated after the exam finished. I could remember very clearly that I forgot to hand in my BM paper 1 and hence, I failed the whole BM paper miserably. Although I ran to the invigilator and gave a valid but stupid excuse on why I did not hand in the paper, it was of no use. Fail means fail. And failing BM means failing the whole SPM exam. Let's move on....
This dream is alerting you to areas of your life that need repair or extra care right now. You may want to slow down and pay more attention to the realm of life indicated. For example, if you dream of your phone not working, notice how you are communicating to others now. Are you doing everything you can to get your message across in a positive way? If not, you may want to tune up this area of your life.

True. I should slow down a lil.

2. You or a loved one is ill or dying. Checked.
I've dreamt that my friends or family members died, but most importantly, I kept on having dreams that I died. Repeatedly. So many times that I do not know if I am really alive when I woke up the next morning.
You may be approaching a time of great change when some parts of your life are falling away and disappearing. This dream is helping you to practice the feelings of loss that you may be having as the elements of your life or your relationships with others change and evolve. It is rare that this dream forecasts an actual death or illness, but it still might be a good idea to get a checkup or pay extra attention to your health now.
Okay. Rolling exercises into my daily routine now. Whee...

3. Falling, flying, or sinking. Checked. Double checked in fact.
Remember I told you earlier about the 'car crash' with jo? Our car tumbled down from the hill and we flew to heaven right away.
Changing direction, either going up or down in a dream, indicates where your awareness is in waking life. Dreams of falling or sinking symbolize a time of being more aware of your unconscious mind and deepest innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories. Dreams of flying indicate that you are exploring your conscious mind at this time or connecting to the realm of spirits, angels, and other energetic beings.
Didn't know that such simple dreams can have such deep meanings.

10. Water. Checked.
Another dream about a scene that looked like one of those from Anaconda. Still remember this one? I slipped and fell into the rising water.
Water in dreams is a sign that a certain emotional situation or experience is of importance in your life. Now is a good time to pay particular attention to your feelings and the realm of the imagination, dreams, and fantasies. The condition or state of the water will give clues as to the exact nature of your experience. Hurricanes and storms can indicate more challenging emotional situations, and on the opposite side, gentle streams and lakes indicate a more calm and peaceful emotional state or even a love or romantic connection.
I remember it was a flood, made worse by the downpour. Does that mean I am expecting more challenging emotional situations? It must be...



Saturday, April 11, 2009

It seems like my fingers are not listening to me!

Friday, April 10, 2009

I just can't contain my excitement anymore! I need to share with the world that I just met someone who shares the same features as Lee Hom!

He has long dyed shoulder-length hair, a well-built body, he's tall and most importantly, he is good loooooooooking.

So, it all started at 9.45pm sharp, when I was about to pull down the door (or whatever you call it) to close down our store. In the midst of doing that, a man ran hurriedly towards my direction, obviously wanting to go into the shop. But instead of stopping him, (unexpectedly) I pulled up the door a lil and allowed him to enter the shop.

It seemed that he was looking for a pair of shoes and of course, I carried out my job dilligently and recommended a few pairs to him. But guess what??!!!!

He just looked smackingly good in every single pair that he wore

but but but.......

I just couldn't communicate with him. I bet he couldn't understand me as well :(
He was talking to me in Mandarin while I was replying him in a mixture of mandarin/chinese/english.

LANGUAGE BARRIER!!!

Anyway, when he asked me which pair he looked good in, I really wanted to tell him he looks great in all those shoes! But, I just did not have the courage to do so.. :(

So, while I was packing those leftover shoes into the boxes, he walked to me from the counter and told me he was going to make his payment instead of just making his payment straight away.

Is he
being cute or silly? Tell me....

P/s: I've scouted around. He's not working anywhere near Nike :( :( :(


it's a Friday but I'm not jumping!

At last, I've finished the whole 30 episodes of EU and I'm getting mixed feelings right now. It wasn't a really good ending as the lead actor was not blessed with his own happiness at the end of the day.

It was such a sad finale.

I was really really really hoping that he'll get back with his girlfriend after everything has been cleared.
But no, it didn't. It's a big blow to me here but I think I'll get over it real soon. Sigh.

For the moment, I guess my TVB drama craze has ceased a lil and I shall divert my attention to something more useful, for instance, finishing the story of A Thousand Splendid Suns. It's a book that I bought few months back but have yet to be completed. I just can't seem to sit still and finish the whole book like many others. Lack of self-discipline fits me.

Well, many has asked about my work but I'm pretty lazy to update them one by one. So, what I'll do is to write them all here so that I can reach out to everyone, regardless of whether you want to know it or not :)

When I first started work, it was pretty awkward because as a rookie, I could not fit into their conversations and I only stood at the side. Of course, that period of time was really difficult for me because I had to act tough to everyone that I can pull it through, when in fact I couldn't. I just didn't want to be alienated by my colleagues and lead the life of a sole ranger while working there.

But, I'm really glad that everything is improving now. They've started talking to me and I think we're beginning to bond. (Hope that they're thinking the same way like me here)

However, once in a while, my mind will drift back to months ago, where we had our last semester. In fact, I should be attending class at the point of writing, but I'm not.

Everything has changed.

Time has moved on fast and I should be adjusting to the changes.

People come and go.
I may not have much time for them but I really want them to know that I appreciate everything they've done for me back in college. Perhaps, getting them as my friends is one of the best gifts that God has offered me.

Why am I getting so sentimental lately ???


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

This is what happens when I'm bored

I feel envious whenever I see couples holding hands walking into the shop.

Within seconds, I would start imagining myself in the girl's shoes.

I would start picturing myself being the happy girl, with my hand being held tightly by my prince charming. And yeah, I do know that it is really silly to still believe in the concept of prince charming these days, but are you certain that it will not occur at all?

To be honest, I'm still harbouring my hope to meet one, at least ONE in my life.

Still, only if I'm lucky enough to meet HIM.



my new routine

The weather has changed a lot lately.

It'll be real sunny in the morning/noon and rain/drizzle almost every night. This, has caused me to fall sick because I have not been practising good eating regime since I started work. Most of the time, I used the break time to get a short nap instead of filling my stomach with food. I may be inducing gastric in the long run, but sleepiness also prevents me from working efficiently.

So, sleep is the best. I'll get my energy replenished in no time and it feels great sleeping in the store room.


I'm not joking at all when I say that the environment in the store room just makes you wanna sleep in it. It's dimly lit, it has got air con and it has the best cushion ever. And if you want additional pillows, just get the piles of clothes and lean on them.

Basically, I just try to make myself comfortable by DIY-ing my artificial 'bedroom'.
*laughing heartily*





Sunday, April 5, 2009

:>

Congratulations to myself!!

Proud to say that I've managed to survive my job for the first 4 days and I believe I will make it through the coming 3 months. Basically, my job involves housekeeping (only if I work on morning shifts), serving the customers, checking the stocks in the store room and double checking the clothes before closing the shop (for noon shift).

The pay might be little, but the satisfaction derived is beyond words. No, it never crossed my mind that I will take up this job at all. Many thought that I will quit after the first day, but I shall prove them wrong this time.

YOUR intention to bring me down has not worked its power on me, rather, it made me stood even stronger as an adult.

Sad things aside.

P/s: I was really glad that Connie and Jo had come to pick me up after work on the first day. It was really loving.


Friday, April 3, 2009

I started work on a very special day - the April Fool. Thinking that I would not get fooled on this very day is wrong indeed.

People, I just got April Fooled by a friend studying in the US!!!!



Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I've been tagged but I shall make some changes to the rule. I will complete the questions but I shall just end it here. No more further tagging my friends (cos I have no one to tag!).

So basically, I'm supposed to
i) Copy to my own note, erase others' answers, enter mine, and tag 10 people (which I'm going to ignore).
ii) Then, use the first letter of my name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up!
iii)If the person before me had the same first initial, I must use different answers. I cannot use any word twice and I can't use my name for the boy/girl name question.
iv)Have fun with myself! *err..I'll try*

1. What is your name: Fern

2. A four Letter Word: fear

3. A boy's Name: Fernando

4. A girl's Name: Faye

5. An occupation: fisherman

6. A color: fushchia

7. Something you wear: flower to be clipped on to your hair?

8. A food: fish

9. Something found in the bathroom: faeces ? (belong to the babies'. *wink*)

10. A place: France

11. A reason for being late: fell and hit the nose

12. Something you shout: Fall but I will not catch you

13. A movie title: Friends?

14. Something you drink: fresh juices

15. A musical group: FIR (from Taiwan)

16. An animal: fat pig?

It ain't that fun though =P


SHOUT out LOUDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!