Fernie Bernie;

Overrated

2011-03-14T18:44:00.002+08:00

Birthdays.

My 21st hasn't been a very good one. And it doesn't feel good when people keep asking me about it. And it is sad when you had expected a bit more because someone promises that something good will happen and eventually fell out of her promise. I'm not playing a blame game here. I just hope that I can gain a bit of appreciation for the stuffs I do. It doesn't have to be material wise, a genuine and sincere birthday wish is more than enough. Ah, birthdays. How overrated.

Myself

2010-09-08T08:53:00.002+08:00

I think it's best to list out all my weaknesses rather to have them pointed out to me by others.

1) I am thrifty. I dont think that equates to stingy. Thrifty to me, is the ability to calculate the best deal for myself at all times. Some people call me cheap. But, I couldn't care less. I know where my source of money comes from and I know I should use it wisely and not succumb to peer pressure to spend to impress people I don't even give a second hoot about.

2) I am self-centred. That's because I refuse to do certain things that will rob me of my comfortability.

3) I am a coward. Not having the courage to speak out against things I don't like definitely makes me a chicken.

More to come.

2012 and days!

2009-12-02T16:24:00.003+08:00

I did my homework (by visiting a few blogs) before I finally decided to watch 2012. Alone.

Yes, I watched it alone. All my movie kakis are back in their respective hometowns and I was left to watch it alone. It wasn't THAT bad after all, so to say =D

I think it's the last day that they're premiering it here and I don't think I'd be able to wait for 2 more months until I'm back in Penang. So, there I went, to watch a catastrophe-type movie on my own. It also meant that I had no one to discuss with when I don't understand a particular scene and no one to look at when the scene is too real and scares the hell outta me. Bah!

My honest opinion would be that it will not be much of a loss if you don't watch it. Seriously, it isn't that awesome or great like how I thought it would be. It was just average and since there is not much movies to watch now, you can give it a try :D I'm saying it with a 'very forced' tone though, if you note that. Nevertheless, the movie is still a great snapshot of what it will be like when it is time for a new calendar to start. So, watch it if you are very bored like me :)

I finally worked enough days to pay for my air ticket. I earned around aud95 a day and since I've worked for five days, I'm glad to say that I can buy my OWN air ticket back to Penang :) Hooray for that but what I really need to do now is to work more to buy another ticket back here, which is equivalent to another 5 days of work. After that, the wages will be fully used to support my expenses here for the next 2 years. Phone bills, textbooks, entertainment, lunch and shopping. Gah ;(

Although it hurts to see my money being spent on tickets, it also felt good at the same time.

I always feel good when I'm able to do something on my own without burdening others. This, I shall celebrate eh? Ta!

;)

2009-11-28T13:18:00.005+08:00

I always feel like I'm deprived of many things. While my peers have it, I don't.

But eventually, I start to accept that life isn't always like how you wanted it to be.
Gold bars won't just drop from the sky for you just because you need and you want it. Needless to say, you will have to work hard to dig your own gold bars from some other source.

Just a random thought.

But, maybe not so random after all.

Yucks.

No title

2009-11-25T07:23:00.002+08:00

Home is the place that I want to be at this very moment.

I wish time would move faster.

Heartache :'(

A week's post all cramped up in an entry

2009-11-17T17:04:00.008+08:00

20 years old doesn't make me feel any different, in fact, it is pretty much the same. I still look the same, speak the same way, and think the same. Well, maybe I've got to think differently now that I'm a young adult and no longer a teenager. So, how do I start with? Okay..think like a 20yo by planning what I really want to achieve in my life. Or, how do I flirt with the cutest guy in university without trying too hard. Maybe not..I'll just stick to the way I should behave like a 19yo.

So, birthday's over and exam was long long over! Still, the stress from exams has not entirely dissolved during the holidays. Not when you unexpectedly receive an email from the university announcing that results will be out first thing on Nov 30th and since my family name falls in the category of L to O, my life will be dictated at 9.30am sharp. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep well on the night before. I reckon I'll even dream about me performing really bad and not being able to explain to parents when they have spent so much on sending me here. Thanks heaps, parents! (though they might not see it here).

My birthday was eventful (to me, at least). I slept with a heavy heart because I really wanted to be back home for the so-called big day. Oh, and I had a really bad dream that night. It was bad because it wasn't something that I had expected it to be and it was really disappointing. Anyway, I woke up feeling really tired and that was when I reached my phone and saw multiple messages from my really good friends. I was so eager to read them that I brought the phone into the toilet so that I'll be able to read them the minute I finish brushing my teeth. The messages were really sweet and I was really happy that November 12 still registers in their head. On top of that, I got a voice message as well! Thank God I had set the voice mail on my phone days before, or else I might just miss out a birthday song.

The sender of the voicemail was none other than Connie, who started off by commenting just how 'hiao' I sounded on the pre-recorded voice message. Awwhhh...seriously you should listen to her voice on the voicemail. I think she sounded worse than me, worse in the sense that she is more 'hiao'. Cheersss :) The highlight of the point is: I couldn't believe that I saved her voice message just so I could hear her voice whenever she is busy. Doesn't sound so right, does it? Well well well, ultimately, the voice message is now saved and locked and once in a while, I actually listen to it. =.=

Besides spending my time in front of the laptop browsing through Facebook (again!), I also invited myself over to my friend's apartment (truth is she invited me, of course) and made quite a mess in her kitchen. Not exactly a mess, but drops of the curry that I was attempting to cook just keeps on popping out of the pot and onto the floor. And she doesn't have that special type of cleaning agent for the floor so we basically used the cleaning product for the stove. End result? The floor was in patches and I automatically ruled out curry for the rest of my cooking dishes in the future. Thanks Heaven that the curry tasted really good. It was almost similar to the ones we usually feast on in Thai restaurants, except that mine was a bit spicier and healthier (lots of veges inside).

It was technically my third time cooking here. First was the night before I cooked for Yi Hui on her birthday. I had cooked minced pork with brocolli, with sister coming to rescue the moment I poured the garlic onto the pan :P But it was all well over at Yi Hui's. Don't believe? Ask her for yourself!! It also reminded me of the silliness while we were shopping for the ingredients at Coles. The recipe was for 10 big prawns and since the big prawns here were a bit heavy on our pockets, we opted for the smaller-sized prawns which was on sale at that time. That was when the deli operator came to us and asked if we needed anything. I proudly told her I wanted 10 prawns =.= which stunned her for a moment because the prawns were pretty small and to have 10 of that size was maybe a bit, funny. But we didn't think much at that moment and after walking off from the aisle, we realized we should buy more since it might not be enough. So, that was when we went back to the deli and told her the weight that we wanted. 200 grams of prawns. Now, she doesnt give that 'look' anymore. *grins and relieved*

Sorry, back to the birthday bit. I was travelling back alone after my cooking session at my friend's place, with earphones plugged into my ears, bearing the song ' Wei shen me ni shua huang' by Ding Dang which was a reallly super emo song. As you know, I can be easily affected and listening to that song the whole day kinda brings the juice of the song into my soul. So, there I was, being 'not-quite-happy' on my Birthday, which was really silly now that I think about it. So glad that it was over now.

I was 'surprised' with an expensive cake from Lindt which costs around AUD40 or more. The fact that I inverted commas (not sure what is it called) the word surprised was because it wasn't technically a surprise. No birthday song was sung and he even had the guts to 'rant' about the price of the 'happy birthday' chocolate plate which costs AUD5. I was guilty the whole night. =.=
Still, thank youuuuu so much to Joanne, Connie and Por Wei for the cake. I wobbled it down in two days. :)

Also, to those whom I've not thanked, don't be offended. I'm still very much thankful to you all for remembering this date and hopefully, this date will be remembered as the day 'an angel was born'. Ahem....aka ME :)

something a bored person have got to say

2009-11-05T11:30:00.004+08:00

Bored, bored, bored

I never stop complaining about anything. People that I meet, food that I eat, things that I wish I should have done and questions I wish I could have known the answers to! I know just how I annoy some people sometimes by filling each conversation with never-ending rants! *sorry, you guys just got to bear with this sick woman*

With plenty of time, I started clicking through Facebook and exploring the pages of my friends whom I've not talked to since we added one another. Woahh, people sure have changed! Some looked gorgeous, some were at incredible places and some were still, very much the same (like me!)

Once done with that, I proceeded to read famous blogs and unwillingly fill myself with envy when I see the kind of life that they are having. Most of them travel occasionally and they always have loads of things to talk about even if there is nothing interesting. Well, it does keep me occupied by browsing through their entries one by one, and digging their old entries. At least for a while! Two hours have passed since then!

I'm so free right now that I have no idea on what I should do tomorrow, the day after the tomorrow, the day after the day after tomorrow and many many more days to come! I come to realise just how phobic I am of boredom, even for only a day.

I even complained to Pauline about how lucky she is for being so busy but she cut me off by telling just how much she prefers my not-so-busy lifestyle. Not quite a compliment, ei? I think I would prefer to be busy. At least time moves on faster that way. But now, the clock is ticking so slow that it gives me a sudden urge to just hack into the clock system and change all the time and date to the moment that I want! Maybe fast forward a couple of years (or more than 10 years) to my wedding day or the day when I'll sit inside the office, helping my husband with his business and expanding it globally. Of course, I also note the possibility of that not happening and that is why I put 'or more than 10 more years' up there. Do you think it will happen?

It's only 22 hours after my last paper and I can't believe that I am feeling so freaking bored like I have been on holiday for weeks or months! My dramas collection are all dried out and I seriously am the NON-BUSIEST person in the world! Why oh WHY!!!!

Worse, I also grew tired of the food here. It's always Jap, Malaysian or Chinese and nothing more! Sometimes, even bread or maggi taste nicer than those. See? I'm complaining again..

@.@ (Teik Wei's fav MSN and FB icon)

That's about it.

If you can still see the next post, it means that I haven't quite died from boredom. YET.

Library

2009-11-02T07:12:00.002+08:00

Why am I not getting stuffs I need into my head?

Has the 5 days gap been too long? Leaving me half spirited here facing the exam...?

**

Before I forget, I need to share with you the acts of some 'got-brain-but-dunno-how-to-use' people in the library. Three things that I've noticed so far, all in a day.

First up, there are people who study with their headphones, blaring their music so loud that people from nearby cubicle can technically hear the 'ooo-ooo-eee-eee' sound. Mind you, we can't hear what song they're playing but we are definitely disturbed by the alien sound. They must be enjoying it so much that they forgot they are in the library and people come to the library to study, not to listen to their songs!

Next, this one is the most classic one! I was studying when I heard someone talking (by himself, only heard one voice) so I reckoned he was on the phone or something. I had my patience and I waited for 5 minutes for him to hang up. But weirdo! He was video-conferencing at the quiet study area. He has got to learn how to respect others.

Lastly, this girl took up three cubicles, all by herself! One for her to put her bag, another one for her to sit and the other one for her to put her legs. Wah, sounds like she is having a big business when apparently, NO! She makes herself way too comfortable, hence ignoring the feelings of people who want to sit at the very spot she puts her legs at.

Ironically, no one complains about any of the abovementioned acts.

So, automatically, I also keep my mouth shut. *zipped*

Hot!!!!!!

2009-10-31T10:12:00.002+08:00

28C!!! And it's not going to stop. It's going to increase further to 30C on Monday before dipping low to 19C again on Wednesday. The unpredictable weather here is just exactly like my appetite. Sometimes, I felt so hungry that a plate of rice doesn't seem to justify my tum tum at all, but once I look at the mirror, I know that I have to control!!! Summer is approaching and I wouldn't want ppl to go "Wah, GIANT LEGS!!!" when they look at my not-so-skinny legs. AHHHH.....

Haven't been studying since my third paper ended on Thursday. Instead, I was busy catching up on my story books and also. movies!! Plus, the hot weather doesn't help much either!! Seriously, 28C here felt like 32C in Penang. I'm now wondering how to survive in summer on 48 -50C!!!!

########

Anddddddddd, I'm so looking forward to 4th Nov, the day my exam ends and then end of nov, Dec, Xmas, New Year, Chinese New Year...until school starts again in March. My life has fallen into a routine. Wake up, eat, online, eat, sleep...time passed really quickly when you live a life like mine! Hah!

Need to be more thrifty now, gotta save up for summer dresses :) !!!!!

=(

2009-10-26T14:07:00.003+08:00

First up, :(

I need to shout out loudddddddddd that I am upset, because I am not happy. Just had my first paper today. It was supposed to be the easiest one (seriously,) but I screwed up quite badly. Having said that, I think I am going to sink into depression soon. There are 3 more papers before I sink even further into major depression. Ahhh :( How come others get $2.45 while I get $2.45?????? (part of the question) WHHHHHHHYYY?

I suspect someone has done something to my calculator, giving me the wrong answers. Good, now I'm becoming paranoid. :S

Someone, pls shoot me

2009-10-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

Three freaking papers in a WEEK!!!!! I am officially brain dead.

The more I study, the more I panic. The more I panic, the more I don't know what I studied. Anyway, I should probably take it easy as it comes. Nothing could be hard for me if I know I have put my very best to it. *grins*

The past week has been really hectic. Studying from morning to night, with limited access to Facebook and also MSN. Imma proud of it.

MAJOR STRESS, MAJOR BREAKOUT

DISASTER!!!

-I had no idea what I was talking about above-

just when i thought i had it, i realized i had nothing in fact

2009-10-18T08:36:00.003+08:00

One day, my friend asked me, "Do you have a best friend? Show me her picture on Facebook."

It took me a while before I could finally gave her an answer. I know that it is a very simple question. Say yes if I have one and say no if I don't. Anyway, I think further than that.

If we treat someone as a best friend, but we don't turn out to be the best friend of that person, is she still considered as your best friend? Yes? No? I don't even know.

To clear this up, I am not emo. Just a random thought that struck me while I listened to a song about Friends.

Exam blues?

2009-10-17T12:48:00.002+08:00

Having studied for 6 hours continuously yesterday, my brain is in a total malfunction today. Cant even write or read now. KO

:(

2009-10-13T16:37:00.003+08:00

The other time, I had a complaint about a girl who said that I was anti-social. Since then, we had talked less as I was totally pissed with her attitude.

But as luck would have it, I had another person whom I dislike.

This girl (ALSO A MALAYSIAN) just pisses me off everytime she speaks.

Whenever I tell her anything, she always begins with 'I KNOW...bla bla bla..' It's not the word that upset me. It's the way she rolled her eyes when she uttered the word and made me look like an idiot. She acted as if she knows everything, when apparently, I think she is just pretending to know everything.

Looking at her is an eyesore. Her pencil box, bag, shoes and nails are all the same color.

Ahhh...I think I'm dying soon.

Caulfield to Springvale!

2009-10-03T10:20:00.008+08:00

Both Yi Hui and I felt that it was time to relax ourselves and take a day off our busy schedule to go shopping. We weren't sure if shopping would help to prepare us for the upcoming exam or not, but we were definitely excited about going to the biggest mall in Australia (or so they say).

The moment I arrived in Caulfield, Yi Hui brought me to visit her uni and I immediately felt like a tourist in her hands.
Anyway, I wasn't so intrigued by the university itself. Rather, I will have to give my praises to her for introducing a good restaurant with a good lunch.

Crispy noodles with braised chicken. And oh, it tasted awesome. Kept me asking for more.

And this is her favourite beef curry rice. I don't have to tell you how good it was. Look at the next picture.

She was clearly very satisfied and happy with her choice of meal. See that?

Right after lunch, we took a train to Chadstone. I was admittedly more excited than her about going to Chadstone, since it was my first.

And so, I thought that Chadstone is going to be huge, like MidValley or Queensbay or even bigger than both.

Omg we finished circling the whole mall in less than an hour. it isnt as big as i thought it would be! I had no idea why it is deemed as the biggest mall here. Maybe it is big because they had Myer, David Jones, Woolsworth and Coles alongside with all the retail shops. Or maybe because all the high-end shops just sent me running?

Somehow, not that satisficing because I had not bought what I wanted to buy.

Immediately, a brilliant idea flashed across Yi Hui's mind. We were going to Springvale to get some mangoes. And off we went, led by the thirst for mangoes.

I told you. We were really excited!
P/s: Note how the guy carried the baby =.=

We took a bus back to Caulfield before taking another train for the fruits. We were happily chatting on the train as usual and that was when I came up with one of the 'most intelligent' question ever. I asked Yi Hui on which was the last station before we enter zone 2. Okay you see, here, we have zone 1 and zone 2. Hence, we have separate tickets for the different zones and a failure to produce the right ticket at the correct stop will result in us being fined for...a handsome amount of AUD172. Per person. No discount even if we are students. =.=

After the question was posted, she smiled to me. Stop chatting and checked her phone.

"I think springvale is in zone 2"

My heart failed at that very moment. We were both carrying only zone 1 tickets. Our hearts paced faster and faster and we were betting on our lives that there wont be any officers around to check our ticket on the train. We passed the first round. There were indeed no officers on the train. Thus, the beatings of our heart slowed down :)

But when we were about to reach the Springvale station, we almost suffered heart failure. There were at least 6 to 7 officers there, blocking the exit and checking every one's ticket as they walked past. Yi Hui managed to calm me down a little by saying that they'll be entering the train to check and since we were already out of the train, we were, technically...safe.

Her assumption was way wrong! They did not board the train. They were still there. WTF.
Hundreds of thoughts were playing in our mind at that time. One thing for sure, we shall never ever admit our fault. We will deny it until the very end because we were seriously unaware of the zone. And to be fined for AUD172 is seriously idiotic.

So, we had our tickets on our hands and we braved ourselves to walk past the officers. I was already prepared to cry there, if that can gain me some sympathy :P

Ironically, they checked every one's tickets except ours. We were a bit lost at that moment and quickly exited the gate. Okay, I lied about the exiting part.

I was walking slowly and Yi Hui was gently pushing me from the back. Seriously, I wanted to run but my legs just wouldn't move. I reckoned it's muscle failure, coupled with multiple heart failures earlier.

We were somehow dazed with what happened earlier and we walked aimlessly for a while before deciding what to do. I guess food plays a good cure as it helps us to refuel our body and also divert the focus from our brain to our stomach.

Pork bun. It's good. It's filling.

It made me smile too. And forget about the ticket crisis.

Not forgetting the role of bubble tea that also helped to calm both of us down.

Ahh...we definitely need more rest now.

Weather, exams

2009-09-29T07:42:00.003+08:00

The weather has been pretty wild lately.

I'm glad that we don't have to wake up to red sky or experience dust storm just like what they had in Sydney. Melbourne is still very much, safe and sound. All we have to do is just to bear with the sudden changes in the weather. Though it's spring now, it feels like winter and the moment the wind blows against your face, it felt icy cold.

Hot or cold?

I don't even know. Sometimes, when it's too hot, I prefer it to get a lil bit colder. Now that it's cold, I wish it would turn a lil warmer. Never get enough of everything, huh? :P I actually have a reason to dislike winter, and also summer.

With winter, I get hungry easily. It's like my digestive system works extra hours during this season and I crave for food every few hours. The consistent walks to school doesn't help either, as what goes into my mouth far exceeds what I had burnt. That's the analysis I came out with after noticing just how much fat has been stored in my body since I came here during winter.

Then, talking about the summer..I've never personally experience any summer yet but there was one particular day during winter which felt extremely warm. Although it recorded only a temperature of 23 Celcius, it felt even warmer than Penang's 31 Celcius. It wasn't only hot, it was stuffy as well. Like we were all trapped inside a microwave oven or something.

I'm only good at coming out with bad and lousy reasons and I know that.

Anyway, I'm well informed that exam is in a month's time but I'm still lack of the motivation to prepare for any of the papers. My life has fallen into a routine now. Wake up in the morning, attend lectures/tutorials, read story books, prepare dinner, continue the story and then head straight to bed. The next day, I repeat the same routine without changing the sequence of the activities. Doesn't sound so good with exam knocking on the door.

I guess I'm getting a Bachelor of Facebook or major in procrastination.

Not a good sign, not a good sign.

Thoughts

2009-09-24T09:15:00.002+08:00

I get stage fright all the time....

And I just don't understand.

I always have a set of carefully planned lines dancing in my mind before I got up the stage. But when it's finally my turn to speak, my mind just went totally blank. And to add fuel to this, I laughed. I reckon I looked like a total idiot when I did that but anyway, it is over *cries*.

Done with that.

You know, I remembered hearing from my sister about how the Chinese boys who were born here will automatically look good to us, Malaysians even when they are not really 'that' good-looking.

It's perception. And we're too judgmental. We always perceive them as good looking merely because they can speak with an accent.

I guess this is another character of true Malaysian, alongside the fact that we automatically develop an 'angmoh' accent when speaking with an 'angmoh'.

Malaysia, Truly Asia

Sometimes,

2009-09-23T18:12:00.002+08:00

It's important that I put my words into action.

Skipping rope which costs me around aud5. It's blue btw.

And the park with lovely people doing lovely things with lovely dogs.

This is probably the spot that I'm going to do my skipping at.

Sometimes, the weather just felt so right that you don't wanna go home even after you're all sweaty and stinky.

I'll prolly bring my law book and study here. Lie on the field, just like what the locals love to do.

A while ago,

2009-09-23T08:06:00.004+08:00

I was contemplating visiting Phuket for bungee jumping.

Seriously, it's a very sudden thing. It's like I woke up one day, and I had this inner feeling that tells me 'You've got to freaking TRY THIS!'

I really want to experience the thrill of jumping and being pulled down by gravity. Fly like no one cares and just challenge my mental strength! Well, all these just sounds so good that it makes me want to do it right now, at this very moment.

But, I think I just got to put this plan on hold. First, I don't have a partner who wants to do bungee jumping with me and #2, I've yet to be financially stable. I mean, I would really want to go on a trip with my own money, rather than fishing them from my parents. Having said this, I reckon I'll take maybe years, to be at that desired state of life.

Anyway, I think I can wait.

Just not too long.

Camberwell

2009-09-21T20:27:00.005+08:00

I've been bugging Yi Hui for a week now to get the pictures.

Now that I've gotten them, I wish she had never sent them to me. wtf.

The pictures are horrible! Both of us....

No choice but to edit it (till beyond recognition) so that I can put them up!

We stopped by Sofia Pizza House at Camberwell to have our brunch. We were so hungry, so we decided to get a plate each. What a wrong decision!

The portion of the food was HUGGEEE. Enough for 3 meals in fact. If I had finished it that day, I wonder how I'll look now. 3 times bigger maybe?

This is something that I ordered. Can't remember the name but I know it sounded really awesome. I had the first taste of it and I went, "Crap! Should have ordered something more common!".

Like spaghetti bolognaise. Simple yet delicious.

We were bad shoppers for that day. Went back almost empty-handed.

Body

2009-09-15T09:09:00.003+08:00

It all happened when I went out with Yi Hui last weekend. She had somehow, unintentionally, 'reminded' me of how much fat I've absorbed from all the food and weather here. I wouldn't exactly say that I've put on weight because the scales seem to be normal ; almost the same as before I got here.

Anyway, away with all the weight blues. They will go really long if I were to start talking about them right here. And I hate to remind myself about how unflattering my body is right now. Yayaya, not that it was very flattering before that, but it just got worse now "=_="

Yup!

2009-09-12T08:12:00.003+08:00

Yeah, trust me. I know it better than you do.

This blog is getting boring, isn't it?

There are no pictures, only writings, and writings and still no pictures.
I thought of putting up some music to spice things up a lil, but this new template does not provide such service. I'm still looking for the perfect one that reflects my personality and while doing so, this will be a temporary one at the meantime!

A morning full of surprises =)

2009-09-10T09:17:00.002+08:00

Apparently, RMIT found out that the students are getting lazier day by day and hence, they need some serious workout. Of course, not all the students are lazy but I'm in the group!

I received two surprises this morning.

Before I elaborate on that, I had no idea why I woke up early this morning and arrived in uni before 9am, when my class actually starts at 9.30am. Anyway, I'm glad I did because I received a really important call! It was a christmas job offer from David Jones this summer! Oh, how happy am I to hear that!! The lady on the phone spoke so fast that I couldn't catch what she was trying to say and I had to ask her to repeat because I didn't want to say yes when apparently, I don't understand what she said. Anyway, the conversation went on well and I am going to report for work on a day after my birthday! I'm just TOO HAPPY!!!

Well, as if that wasn't enough to shock my day, RMIT's brilliant plan did! We were all in class, already starting our lecture when there was this weird sound that was so loud, it kept us all quiet. Maybe not all, but me. I thought the projector or the computer had broken down but apparently, it wasn't. It was a FIRE DRILL -.-"

I have no idea that the fire drill here sounds like this and I bet if I were alone somewhere in the building, I wouldn't move at all unless someone asks me to. I know that I'm dumb, you don't have to remind me.

So, as we were not allowed to use the elevator, all of us flocked to the emergency exit and jammed the stairs. When the jam was finally cleared, we made our way out of the building and just congregated at the streets. This somehow reminds me of my high school. The fire drills, the evacuation plans and standing under the hot sun while attendance was taken. So, yeah..memories kinda flood back.

And the exercise regime that I was talking about up there was actually about having to climb down the stairs from the 8th floor down to the ground floor. That probably wasn't too bad but having to climb back the stairs from the ground to the 8th floor was the worst. To avoid the jam in the elevators, I opted for the stairs and hmmm...there went my morning exercise.

Moreover, I don't think I was focussing on my tutorial this morning. Away with all the marginal costs, average costs etc!

What was on my mind was the stuff that I'm gonna get or do with my pay. I'm definitely gonna get myself a brand new laptop and...probably save the rest for study tour or exchange programme? I really really wanna get into one of those but they don't come cheap. It costs around aud8000 for the study tour to US and that means, it'll take around RM24000 based on today's rate!!!! Ahhh....I'm still thinking...contemplating....

I just need to work on my budget sheet and T account. Hopefully, I'll get to do what I wanna do ultimately!

As at 11.18am, Tuesday

2009-09-08T09:03:00.002+08:00

I enjoy making my own lunch and bringing it to school and munching them away in the library, with my books and notes all scattered on the table. It does make me look like a studious type of person, doesn't it?

Finally, spring has taken over winter andddddd....it means, I can finally shove away all those dread and boring looking jackets. Gone are the days of layers of thick clothing and shiverings in the morning. Yays!

Melbourne has also brought back my addiction for Taiwan idol series. Now that 'Fated to Love You' is finally done and over with, the next show on the line-up is 'Ying Ye 3+1' and it also has Joe Chen in it! In case you don't know, Joe Chen is the girl who had acted in 'The Prince who turns into a frog' and also 'Fated to love you' and I'm loving her even more each day. How come she always gets to act alongside the hot guys? Ahhh...it just got me boiling inside when I thought of that =P

Hmmm..what else?

I guess that's it for now.
Can't wait to meet Yi Hui this weekend! She's going to bring me to explore one of the suburbs!
She got me feeling so excited that I had forgotten I still have a test coming up tomorrow. It's worth 20 marks (OUCH!) and so, wish me luck!

Morning blues

2009-09-04T07:35:00.002+08:00

Apart from my breakfast and FB, the next thing I did this morning was to update my blog.

I think I had a really emotional dream last night after chatting with mum, dad and ama on the phone in the evening. I can't exactly recall what was the dream about but all I know is that I woke up feeling not too happy and not too excited.

The first thing that popped up in my mind was my family in Penang. Everything about Penang. Not so much of the food though, but the people. My school, my family, my friends and also the Penangites in general. I miss how I feel disgusted by those ah peks puking on the street. I miss those ah bengs swearing in hokkiens. And I miss how easily it is to call my friends on their house phone and telling them off when they don't pick up the phone. Things like that....

Now, I've got to constantly remind myself that I am in Australia, not Malaysia. Having chosen my path to be here, I need to stick with it no matter what and do it proudly. But somehow, it's not that I don't want to, it's that I couldn't do it. Every single thing I do here reminds me of something or someone back home and I can feel the line from Michael Buble's Home song, 'Let me go home, I'm just too far from where you are and I just wanna come home' buzzing in my ear.

And what do I do when I get such thoughts? I start to think about my friends who are away from home even further than me, for instance, UK or US and they're just doing fine. If they can do it, why can't I?

Often, this positivity doesn't last very long and is constantly defeated by my negativity. My excuse is that we are all different. What I feel and what they feel is so different. They are tough but I am not. I'm just not them.

Having said this, it doesn't mean that I don't like it here. In fact, I do.

However, I'm just not too ready to assimilate myself into this country, which is still, very much foreign to me.

big-ass interview

2009-09-03T16:45:00.005+08:00

It was my first job interview in Melbourne and I screwed up.

I think I did fairly well in the individual interview but when it comes to the group interview, I just had to admit that I practically failed the session. The problem lies in me, of course....and also one of the group members!

There were 5 of us in a group and there was this guy who was so dominating during the group activity and the other 3 had to fight for a chance to talk. Me being the youngest, the most inexperienced, the most Asian, the most innocent and displaying the most 'i-want-to-participate-but-got-beaten-to-that' attitude of course, was overshadowed and did not really have the chance to express myself. Okay, screw that. I hate job interviews. I hate the guy. His name is Daniel and I hope he didn't get in because I am unable to get in and so, I don't want him to get in as well!

But as harsh as the reality would sound, he has a high chance of getting in because he outshined most of us. Still, I don't like him :(

Oh, and my competitors range from final year students to double MASTERS holder.
I have no idea why they want to fight with me for the job. It is just a part-time job. But deep down inside, I do understand why. Economy's bad. And this job here is going to make a whole lot of difference to anyone.

Sigh, I wish I could get the job but no, God says no to me :(

I wish I could marry a rich bloke and attend to him 24 hours but again, God says 'Wake up already!!!!'

Now, I'm just hoping that the economy could get better, so that businesses would flourish and there will be a shortage of workers, hence creating more job opportunities. That's when I will finally be able to secure a job.

Please rain more luck on me!

the door XD

2009-09-02T13:05:00.003+08:00

I have a bunch of rude neighbours.

I don't know what they do and I don't even bother to ask them, but they certainly need to look at themselves and show some tolerance for others.

What they do best is slamming the door real hard at night (when I want to sleep) and then do it again in the morning (when I want to continue sleeping).

I wish their door would come off one day and leave them DOORLESS.

I hope that they slam their door so hard, it got stuck and they will be trapped inside for days because their neighbour here (that's me, and my sisters) will turn a deaf ear to their screamings.

I wish all those would materialise one day.

And I hope that THE DAY will be soon.

X peace X

Laughing Gor!

2009-08-29T17:29:00.003+08:00

It had gone all the way from Hong Kong’s TVB to Malaysia’s AOD, and now it is here in Melbourne!

People, Laughing Gor is here in Hoyts Cinema! *screams hysterically*

You should all know him by now! He was the undercover cop whom we hated at first but then grew to like him when he died. Clueless? Then check out the TVB series, EU. It will be such a shame if you miss him out because he is now making it big in Melbourne.

Think about it, how many Cantonese shows had actually made their way to Australia? And his show is now one of them!

Ahhh, I'm just so so proud of him, Michael Tse. I'm glad that he finally had the chance to show off his talent and play a lead role.

To put it short, you've just got to watch this! It's much better than Infernal Affairs and it has less talkings and more on power-packed actions!

The story line definitely has the punch.

Although it is scary at times to witness those brutal killings ala HK triad style, it is still entertaining because it is not all full of blood.

It has a story line. A story line that has a beginning, climax and ending. It’s just different from all the triad shows that HK had produced. Maybe I had exaggerated a little but it is all because I was so entertained by this movie.

I was particularly attracted by how the bad guys turned out to be good at the end and how the good ones turned out to be BAD towards the end of the show. It was so sad to see the good people dying one by one. The police. The triad members.

Also, the most intriguing part of the movie was when they complicated the true identity of Laughing Gor.
Was he a mole placed in the triads by the police or was he an undercover placed in the police by the triads? It had definitely got us thinking…

Nuff said, get moving and catch Laughing Gor in the cinemas now!

Fated to love you!

2009-08-27T20:25:00.004+08:00

Yep, another obsession over a taiwan series!
Watch it watch it!!!

Many of you had probably watched it two years ago, but I'm only watching it now. Yes, outdated. So say you.

I had always refrained myself from watching idol dramas until this one here. Seriously, this one is good!! Much much better than many others.

I can finish up to 20 episodes in a day and the soundtracks now form a new playlist in my player.

Trust me. You'll love it.

=D

2009-08-23T16:04:00.003+08:00

What we've done over the weekend,

It might be an ordinary washing machine, but wait till I zoom it closer.

Our clothes are all trapped inside, credits to...

a broken door :(

Alert: LAW test!

2009-08-20T17:25:00.005+08:00

For the first time in my life, I sat still inside the library for 4 freaking hours!
It was pretty unbelievable to me that I could survive that long. I mean, seriously....

I'm not a very disciplined type of person and so, asking me to study for that long inside the library can be quite a difficult task. Anyway, I did it and so, I deserve something good for myself. :)

All of a sudden, I wish I could fly.

A meeting with one of the most SOCIABLE person ever.

2009-08-18T11:12:00.005+08:00

I find it so hard to believe what I've just heard!

Some kinda weird and 'super-sociable' girl whom I've just met at a tutorial said that I was anti-social. Note the " ' " up there?

Not too sure if anyone has heard of that, but she said it in the computer lab. Seriously, this is one of the WTF moments that I need to highlight today. I mean, how can she say that to me when we have just met for less than an hour? Jeeezzz!!!!

So, do you know why she claimed that I am anti-social?

Oh, it's pretty simple. And stupid as well.

Because I said I've brought my own lunch and I wanna be in the lab during my 3 hours break, she looked at me like I was so pitiful and said " Oh, why are you so anti-social? You should meet more people". Wah, eating lunch while doing some homework can also mean that I am anti-social? So, she's regarded as super-sociable because she always lunches with her friends? What kind of theory is this?

Most of you would have known what kind of person I am. No matter how badly I get insulted, I wouldn't spit it out directly on her face. This is what makes me vulnerable to bullies. :( Oh, and if that wasn't hurtful enough, she said that I am a boring person!

WTF! WTH! and seriously WTC!

You wanna know how that 'boring' comment come from? Oh, simply because she asked what I do at home most of the time, and I said I either online, study or go out for a walk on the streets. Is this boring? At least, I don't find it so! I do whatever I want. I don't have to account to her whatever I do at home. If possible, I would want to stay far away from her. Just get her out of my sight. She didn't only step on my pride, she crushed it and crushed it so badly that it became juice!

And to show how 'sociable' she is, she even invited me to one of her outings. A trip to Mornington (which I've been to) with her bunch of friends whom I think, are as equally 'sociable' as her. There is no way I am going out with her at all. If I am, I am probably nuts or I just want to screw up my life.

More more more! She also told me how fun and happy her life is...having small activities with her bunch of friends every weekend and once in a while. Getting together for barbecues, karaokes and shoppings. Nah, this is what we call 'sociable' life lor. Very happening lor. Unlike mine, so boring and dull. That's what she probably wants to hear.

Arrgh....the anger just could not dissolve at the moment! The thought of meeting her every week for the same tutorial just freaks me out. She is so 'friendly', and I am so 'hostile'...She's so 'fun' and I'm so 'boring'. WTH!

Oh btw, did I mention that she's a Malaysian?

To the Zoo!

2009-08-16T16:56:00.009+08:00

Yup, again.

But it's free this time. Thanks to my mentor who has her mother working at the zoo to get us the free tickets! So, off we went. To the Zoo. In a tram. In a group. To see the animals. For one more time.

The weather was pretty unpredictable when we got there. It looked like it was about to rain, then it got sunny, then it got back gloomy again. Almost similar to my mood. Ups and downs in one single day.

Let's not get our time wasted. Start off with a mini tour around the zoo.

Of hundreds of animals there, I only managed to snap a few shots of some of the animals because apparently, I did not bring my camera. I was hoping someone would bring it and tag me in Fb! And of course, they did! But I was really silly for not utilising the camera from my phone. The shots were definitely not as good as those DSLRs, but at least they were not too bad. *eeks*

'No fish, prawn also not bad right?' - literally translated from hokkien [ bo hu, heh bun hor ]

So here's the giraffe. It's really small and it's much shorter than I've expected. Nevertheless, it's still a giraffe.

Oh, and we were so lucky to be able to see the elephants doing their morning walk!

Most of these elephants were from Malaysia and each of them also has a name. I remembered one of them being called Bongsu and the keeper was pronoucing it as Bong-sou....with an Australian accent. Try to imagine that!

Did you not see that?

Can you see much better now?

Amazingly, their trunks held on to the tails of the elephant in front of them, like they were holding hands. This helped to keep them in line and I guess, bonded them really well. I seriously wonder how the keepers trained them up to this stage! There must be a lot of hard work on both the keepers' side and also the elephants. Imagine holding someone's ass and walk (because in our case, we do not have a tail!)

One word, BRILLIANT :)

Next, we have the orang utans. They hailed from the Borneo Island.

And uh, they were locked in this position for minutes!

Had a hard time figuring what they were up to. Praying, maybe?

"Bring me back to the land of Borneo!"

Read this.

We doubted that.

To prove that we were stronger than the orang utans, we had a competition.

Man (in this case, a girl) VS Orang Utan

Contender no ONE

Contender no TWO

After some time....

The battle was eventually won by Orang Utan!

because

cheated.

-.-"

The other occupants of the zoo include the gorillas. Caught one of them sleeping.

And the other one busy eating.

While this one here, was rather active and kept on running around its enclosure. How funny.

However, the mandrill was a lil grumpy. And arrogant. PMS kut.

Last but not least, the gibbons!

They were busy too! Picking up fleas from its partner.

Having been in the zoo mode for quite some time, it's time to

---> switch to law mode.

Movies

2009-08-13T17:57:00.009+08:00

3 movies in two days!

and the result is pure backache from too much of sitting on the chair. -.-

The only thing in common about these movies? Well, these are all love comedies which make me ponder again about the existence of such 'too good to be true love stories'. Again and again, why do they make the stories seem so perfect?

1. First up on the list, Gladiator!

And with this, I present you Maximus! and his friend who is....rather cute, and funny.

Uhm, maybe I didn't laugh that much watching this but I definitely did cried! I cried when Maximus died, when he died a hero's death. I loved how the crowd cheered his name, 'Maximus! Maximus! Maximus!' when he walked out to face his opponent. The impact is so huge on me that I'm now contemplating naming my son as Maximus. :)

Or do you think Aun should get a Christian name? Maximus Lim Kean Aun? Not bad weih :P

Surprisingly, he doesn't look that bad in the pink headgear. Just try to close one eye on that wet patch on his shirt. He probably just wet his pants :P So here comes Maximus, or my so called Maximus.

2. Then, it's The Proposal.

I've got to tell you that Sandra Bullock hasn't lost that charm in her! She is still very much attractive and funny like her character back in Miss Congeniality.

One of the lines that wiped me off my feet:

"I want to marry you because I want to date you"...Owwh...how sweet to hear that from a guy.

Maybe you don't find it sweet, but at least I do. But then again, where got such thing in a real world?

3. Finally, I finished off the day with Love Undercover, a Cantonese movie starring Miriam Yeung and Daniel Wu.

This film has been out ages ago but the funny scenes still work with me. I laughed and I envied the character of Miriam, who by chance, met Daniel during one of her undercover jobs and fell in love with him. Of course, some of the scenes just don't make any sense but that's what comedies are, aren't they? Doing stupid things and you, laughing at their stupidity but at the same time, amazed by their talent in deriving such hillarious jokes.

Watching too many of these flicks is doing me no good at all.
I'll probably die of hallucination one day.

Result of my autopsy : Sudden death!

My new found ROU.TI.NE

2009-08-08T08:51:00.003+08:00

Goodday, maite!

There's pretty much nothing to update for the week.

I've been adapting myself to this new routine for a month now.
Mondays to Thursdays : quarantined in the university for classes, lectures and computer lessons in the lab.
Fridays to Saturdays : self-quarantined at home, with lots of chips, fizzy drinks, and homework. Yes, I only do my homework during the weekends. And sometimes when I get too lazy, I do them a day before the tutorial. And if the laziness gets too much, I don't do them at all. I bring them to tutorials and do them during the tutes! On these days, you will see me sitting behind the class, acting busily to avoid being noticed or called forward by the tutor! Getting more mischievous yep, I sure do!

Somehow, I've grown numb to attending classes without friends. It's an improvement, I would say :) At least, I don't complain that much anymore. Am proud of myself. XD

But I do get distracted at times, especially when something 'happening' happens in front of me.
Days ago, I was at the right place and right time to witness the PDA (public display of affection) of a couple who sat right in front of me. Throughout the lecture, there were a whole loads of cuddling, touching, kissing, caressing and whisperings in the ears.

Sure enough, I just can't deny that they are indeed a sweet couple and there's endless flow of cheesy words exchange between the both of them. But perhaps, they should keep this intimacy at home. Just a thought :)

Still, I was melted by their actions.
(:

Happy

2009-08-06T15:54:00.003+08:00

The service here is way beyond excellent.

I just ordered my phone on Tuesday night and they delivered it to me this morning (Thurs) at 7.45am, while I'm still sleeping!

I find this really really cool.

If it's in Malaysia, you might have to call and chase them for the phone. Or you might just get a reply that sounds like, "tunggu ya, cik. sudah ON THE WAY". -.-"

Happy :)

My love

2009-08-05T07:13:00.006+08:00

I dreamt about him. Again. He was beside me, and it seemed so real that I cried when he touched me. He's my angel and he has given me hope, pure joy and lots of happiness that no one else in this world, will be able to give me at this very moment.

It wasn't the first time that I've dreamt about him. In fact, it was just recently that my dreams every night were mostly filled with images of him. The way he smiles, the way he calls out my name and the way he looks at me. It was so pure, so sincere and I just can't refuse to take my eyes off him. It felt as if all these just happened yesterday, but it wasn't. It has been a one long month since I last saw him.

Unfortunately, my last day was not well spent with him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Indeed true. I'm missing him more and more each day and I really wish I could be with him all the time. No one in this world is ever going to fill his spot in my heart because he is simply irreplaceable.

Even though I am quite annoyed at times with his actions, my love for him has never changed. Instead, it has grown so strong that I myself, could not even explain why. I wish he could come here and cheer me up, like the way he used to.

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

I love you, Aun aun boy

Light heart

2009-08-04T17:14:00.005+08:00

I thought this video here is really interesting. At least, I find it really funny :)

Another Tuesday in plain 09

2009-08-04T07:55:00.003+08:00

It's finally done!

Did you notice the changes to the blog? How do you find it? Well, I find it a lot better than my previous template and I'm lovin' it. ( Credits to Su Lyn and Deborah for their advises ).

The weather is cold. I hate getting up early in the morning to attend classes, but I have to.

I'm missing something really bad and it's black in colour =P

L.A.W.

2009-08-02T20:02:00.003+08:00

Suddenly, I recalled myself asking a really dumb question in one of the tutorials just a week ago. I'm starting to wonder what has gotten into me to be asking such dumb question. Am I becoming dumb? I hope not. I just got to pray that I won't be asking anymore dumb questions from now on. God, please shower me with some smart questions!

LAW.

Law is full of accusations, suing, turning wrongs into rights and ultimately, the best thing about law is that it drives people crazy. Don't get confused that I'm taking a law degree because I'm still very far from that level. I don't have the brains for it at all. However, it is a core subject in my degree and I have no chance of escaping it at all.

Hence, to those who are already lawyers or those who are going to be one, accept my salutation. You guys deserve every bit of respect from me.

You go, lawyers!

:(

just a thought

2009-07-29T21:27:00.003+08:00

It is really crucial that you do some self-reading while you're in the university. I'm glad that I did, or else I would not have stumbled upon this notice here!

The library is indeed a dangerous place. Hence, it is of utmost importance that we do not fall asleep no matter how boring the book is. You've got to absorb what you're studying and at the same time, keep an eye on suspicious people cos they might just steal your belongings away.

Anyway, I find this really interesting because the library actually tells us to be aware of our stuffs while we study, (which I think is really caring). Apparently, there has been such cases in the past and that is why, they're putting up this notice.

However, I had a change of opinion after attending my law class. It turned out that the notice was meant to protect the library itself. In case some students actually tried to be irreasonable by blaming the lack of security in the library, this is what the librarians are going to throw at the students.

"I did put up a notice, didn't I? I did warn you, didn't I?"

=.=

Hola..Tuesday!

2009-07-28T11:13:00.002+08:00

Shh..I'm supposed to be studying in the library now.

Apparently, the study mood was overrun by the addiction to facebook and blog.

Truth be told.

unsuspecting sunday afternoon

2009-07-26T14:30:00.004+08:00

Listen to the playlist!
It's almost the perfect song to sing today. The title itself is self explanatory and hence, not much elaboration is needed. It's a sunday and a song with a 'sunday' in it seems quite right, eh?

Big sis and I had a great time preparing a local delicacy called the Tau Eu Bak (Soy Sauce meat) while 2nd sis was away. Without prior knowledge on the rightful way to cook the dish, we did all that was deemed appropriate. We just threw everything into the pot and poured the ingredients, only to mix it later. The result? It was simply mouthwatering and the best thing lies on the simplicity of the cooking steps. Thumbs up.

And today, we had something called the Corn Soup. To make for the loss of chicken bones, we used chicken stocks in cubes and there went the cooking process again. Dump everything into the pot and let it boil to perfection. The result? Not as good as mum's but it wasn't too bad. What do you expect to get from chicken stocks?

:)

Gracie screamssssssssssssss

2009-07-24T20:07:00.002+08:00

i'm over the moon today!

That's because there's no sun-lah. Eh. Where's the sun!??? *typed by Gracie*
Hi There!!!

Ok.. back to AiFern.

The rightful writer is here now.
So, I did ask her twice, if she really wanted to put that up and she nodded. "Even if it's lame?" I asked. She nodded again.

Ignore that. Full of crap.

Initially, I had heaps of things to update but upon reading the line written by Gracie aka nanny, I got disoriented and my ideas just ran off! Poor thing...

Poor ME!

:(

2009-07-22T19:14:00.002+08:00

I'm in need of a huge makeover.

Why do I look so kiddish?

Change me!

first day of school

2009-07-20T14:55:00.002+08:00

As you can see from the title, it's my first day of school today. The feeling's really weird. I have not attended classes for 3 months and now, here I am, sitting in lecture theatres and listening to the lectures being delivered. It's not that fun anymore. I don't wanna state the reason but I guess many of you could have easily figured it out.

Everything is different now. When will it be the same?

Many said, it takes time...

My turn to ask, How sure are you?

guys in melbourne

2009-07-17T08:39:00.003+08:00

I was at Boxhill the other day and I saw two men in their 30s flipping through the pages of a magazine. Eager to find out what got them so attracted, I inched closer.

Hell, it's PORNO !!!

Don't think it's Playboy though, strong feeling tells me that it is some local porno mag.
Will get you the name of the 'educational' magazine soon!

Life's getting more interesting here.

awfulness

2009-07-16T17:16:00.003+08:00

Life is just smashingly awful when you are expected to follow every single order given to you. What's worse? The fact that you are defenseless.

There's no escape from this. Accept it.

no title

2009-07-15T11:52:00.002+08:00

It's just one of those days again where everything that happens around you does not seem right. Weird but true,

Keeper

2009-07-13T21:46:00.007+08:00

I've been here for about a week. There are certain things that I really like and things that I don't. Everything about Melbourne is great especially its wide variety of food. Too bad, so sad, it still does not have my favourite char koay teow stall here. Anyway, ignore that for the moment.

That's because I'm falling head over heels for this guy.

This good looking guy whom I think is a good mixture of Keanu Reeves, Brad Pitt and all the handsome guys that we know of! Can't you see that even the giraffe was attracted to his good looks? Just so you know, he works in the zoo and he's a keeper.

All smiles.

Charmed by him already. :)

first note in melbourne :(

2009-07-07T15:06:00.002+08:00

filled with EMO-ness...

but I thank God that I found you guys..

To those who sent me off at the airport, you guys finally had the chance to see me tearing like the world was going to end. In fact, I did felt that way when I was entering the hall. I was so reluctant to leave and I just wanted the time to stay that way forever. But it wasn't possible at all.

Anyway, it was only 5 degrees celcius when we touched down at the airport. Freeezing....with only a shirt and a jacket.

A lesson to be learnt : Never underestimate the weather of Melbourne city. It's erratic!

I miss all of you.

Please miss me too.

You think it's true? Think again

2009-07-02T12:21:00.006+08:00

What's a truth?

I learnt that a truth might not be the truth sometimes. A truth is what we believe to be true, although it might be untrue in real life. Often enough, we choose to make the so-called truth a truth because we want to make it true. Never mind the fact that it isn't that true, because to us, we think that it is true and that is all that matters. I'm such person who choose to make what I believe as a truth, although it is not one. I strongly feel that if lying to ourselves could make us happy (for a little while more), then why not do it? We still have plenty of time to wake up at the end of the day...Oops...do we?

I don't know.

No matter how badly I want to make the truth a truth, it seems like it will never be one.

What prompted me to write this? Well, it might be some of the events that just happened recently. It just sounded so wrong to question the truth because I still refuse to believe it until now! But as I said earlier, I think I don't give a damn anymore on the real truth as I've already come up with my own truth. My own truth is...whatever that makes me happy :)

Ahh...writing this is certainly not an easy piece of work. So many issues and people flashed through as I pen this down. The world turned turtle days ago and just when it was about to turn back for good, it turned turtle again. Now, I don't even know the status of it. Is it still upside down or is it already getting steady for the betterment of myself? I DON'T KNOW.

I do wonder sometimes. When I say I DON'T KNOW, do I really not know it or do I just choose not to know it? You don't know? Me either.

But if you happen to know, do tell me because I really want to know.

Allright. Enough of that.

I'm sure you've heard people telling how much you've changed over the years. And when I said 'changed', they do not mean you changed for the better, but you changed for worse. So have we really changed? Or are they the ones who changed? Again, I DONT KNOW the answer.

To conclude, I think I don't want to know anymore.

Let's just not know anything.

Live in our coconut shell and pretend that the world is just a beautiful place, as pictured in fairy tales where 'they live happily ever after'.

over the past week. first, it was....then, it was...

2009-06-28T11:31:00.003+08:00

Many things happened just over the last weekend. First, Aun had a haircut and he looked so cute! So cute that I could not resist laying my hands on him, carry him around, toss him around (he likes it!) and kiss him. He is by far the cutest baby I've ever met in my family. But when his temper flares, he automatically became the most annoying baby (:

Then, we went to Langkawi for a vacation using my hard-earned money. It was the most adventurous trip ever because we bought the ferry tickets at the very last minute. Exactly 5 minutes before the boarding time. We counted ourselves really lucky to be able to snap up the tickets in such a packed time. But a freakier prob arose after we boarded the ferry. We got sea-sick throughout the close-to-3 hours journey. Worse still, we sat in between the loos. So, we got to bear the smell of our Malaysia loos every time passengers walk in and out of them. It was so traumatising and sickening. I believe it was a punishment specially designed for us for doing things at the last minute. LOL.

Next up, it is an issue closely-related to my poor judgment. I was extremely disappointed when I finally managed to dig out what he has done. Why on earth has he committed to such an act? What is wrong with him? Has he changed? Or has he been like this all the while, releasing his true colours only right now? Am I kicking a big fuss over it? Maybe everyone is like that, and he is no exception from this?

I tried. I tried to tell myself that it might be a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, everything that I hear now pointed negatively towards him. I don't feel betrayed. I just felt that it was a pity that he is such a person. I used to hold high regards for him, but not anymore now. It is a lesson to be learnt. It takes a long time to know someone. Your image is tarnished now. You don't have to go. I should go. :)

One more event to update. Pauline has gone to China to work as a translator (I think). I won't be meeting her until next year and I felt bitter that she left earlier than me. She always wins :(

mini update

2009-06-23T12:13:00.003+08:00

Praise me!

My bag still lies in the corner of the room, covered with dust as thick as roti canai (nah, joke). My clothes are still unpacked. I'm unprepared. With 2 more weeks to go, I am still shaking legs here and not giving a care about my luggage. Mum has been giving a few warnings already, that I should start packing and clear my cupboard. But those words just don't seem to enter my head. All I'm thinking about right now is where to play and where to eat.

a quiet morning...shhhh (just couldn't think of a better title)

2009-06-22T12:16:00.003+08:00

If I were to name one thing that I dislike doing most, it would have to be WAITING. Waiting for unknown outcomes, waiting for someone who promised you they'll be there at a certain time and never turn up until few hours later, waiting for good things to come by and last but not least, waiting for promises to be fulfilled. I know, it'll be a highly difficult task to fulfill promises due to some unforeseen circumstances but this shouldn't be used as an excuse everytime you fail to live up to your words. It's just not right at all. 11 years of moral studies in school would have served no purpose. "Tepatilah masa", "Be punctual". Oh God, leave them in the books. Humans never seem to apply those concepts in their lives.

Ahh, I'm just so tired of waiting. And by saying this, I already feel so 'old'. I wait till I got so 'old' inside. You see lah. Always wait wait wait. Screw punctuality.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

I felt so ashamed for not doing anything for Dad at all. I was working. I worked and worked and worked. What have I earned at the end of the day? Money but not moments. Turn back time? Screw that.

I hope he'll understand that I'm not a very expressive person. I may not say those words but deep down inside my heart, I love him wholeheartedly. He worked hard to put food on the table, to get the electricity running so that I can go online and sleep with the air-con, to take us all out for a big meal once in a while and most importantly, to fund my education overseas. I can see everything that he has done for us. And for that, I'm deeply indebted to him.

Happy Father's Day to all Daddies and Papas out there.
You can choose everything else in this world but one thing - your PARENTS.
So, cherish them!

Make them merry and not worry.

even though it's been so long

2009-06-21T09:42:00.004+08:00

Sing this to your loved one, maybe?

I'd always come for you

2009-06-20T10:14:00.001+08:00

Just One more moment

that's all that's needed

Like wounded soldiers

in need of healing

Time to be honest

this time I'm bleeding

Please don't dwell on it

cause I didn't mean it

I know..

2009-06-20T09:54:00.006+08:00

I too, expected this blog to be better, more appealing, more attention-grabbing, more worthwhile to stop by. Somehow, I just do not know how to change the blog skin! When I'm finally successful in changing, a few items will definitely go missing. If you notice, the chatbox I'm having here now is brand new. No more messages. So, do drop some msgs to fill up the blankness allright??!! Weird. Feels like I'm indirectly begging people to leave me messages. Anyway, ignore that.

I've been a total health freak at the beginning of the year, restricting myself from eating this and that. This one too oily, that one too sweet and in the end, plain oats is the top in my list. Now, there is a total change in my priority. Fat? Who cares??? As long as we're happy about the way we are. * This sentence appears when I fail in shedding off that extra kilos* (:

Goodness, it's been really hot and dry for the past few days. Realizing that, I've been hiding myself in malls and shopped till my purse actually tore. Can you believe it? Now, I need to get one before I leave. But where from? Jo suggested GUCCI.

Okay, I'm going to sleep early tonight and pray for GUCCI to appear next to my bed tomorrow morning. Fair enough?

Help needed

2009-06-19T13:07:00.006+08:00

I thought of introducing some changes to my blog.
In the end, I suffered more losses.

My chatbox is missing.

My playlist went into hiding.

My profile picture was 'eaten alive'.

My advertisements disappeared into thin air.

That's why people always say, "mai keh gao gao" ):):):):

Blown to bits.

2009-06-17T17:29:00.005+08:00

I was totally blown away by what Pin Yin did!

Believing that all of us will be heading into different directions in a month's time, she did something totally unexpected! Allright, fine. I've already expected that she'll be doing something for the group. That's because she had repeated numerous times that she'll be getting something special for all of us.

And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, I present you Happy Hong's masterpiece!

It's two mini cards tied by a fat string and I'm still figuring out what to do with it. Should I keep it? Or should I use it as a bookmark? Seriously, it's not that I don't want to make it a bookmark, but look at the picture that she chose!

Out of so many pictures that we had, I had no idea why she PICKED this. Now, you give me the reason.

But, the next picture deserves a thousand praises.

It's the picture of the whole group taken on the last day of school. Somehow, looking at this picture brings back a lot of memories. Though we quarrel and bicker over small issues from time to time, we still remain close till today. I guess this is where the old cliche' , 'Friends Forever' is never too old-fashioned to be used.

You people are my greatest gift.

I thank God that I found you girls.

P/s: Py, thanks for crafting this delicate masterpiece of yours. You still owe me a meal of bak kut teh, whether you like it or not. :P

2009-06-17T13:31:00.003+08:00

I'm addicted to this.

**********

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

***********

my first medical check up

2009-06-15T12:31:00.003+08:00

I went for a medical check up the other day. The moment my x-ray result was out (which was 15 minutes later), I was called by the doctor. He had a blank expression on his face and he talked to me in a very serious tone.

"Miss Ooi, your x-ray here....*paused for a few seconds*.....looks different," he said.

I was stunned.

"How different is it? Do I have any growth or tumor?" I asked, bracing myself for the worst.

"Oh, this x-ray is for the Australian government. Therefore, it is more detailed and bla bla bla..."

Seriously, WTF man. What is wrong with this guy?! Can't he just go straight to the point instead of misleading me with such sentence?

I know I sounded a lil dramatic up there, but you know how wild my imagination can run.

Brace for the hot weather

2009-06-11T09:33:00.004+08:00

El Nino is on its way here. And that means we're expecting a lot of hazy, hot and shiny days ahead. So, let us all just hang out at the malls till the sun goes down, shall we?

One more thing. I hate coffees. Be it coffees from Coffee Bean or kopitiam.
They tend to give me sleepless nights and overactive stomachs in the morning.

David Brown's

2009-06-08T10:34:00.007+08:00

As promised earlier, here are some of the pics we took at David Brown's the other night.

I didn't realize how 'white' I looked till I saw this picture. Sigh.

And a lil retard as well.

Brush that off. Here I am, at the peak of Penang Hill. Surrounded by girls in dresses.

On the way up to David Brown's.

Taken when the sun was about to go down, or maybe when it has gone down.

I love the floor art! Made me desperate for a game of CHESS, though I suck at it.

On the way down!

2009-06-07T17:33:00.003+08:00

I bought a dress but it was

too

SHORT!

:(

Seriously, when I put it on at the shop, it looked rather okay.
But when I got back and put it on again, it was way above my knee!

Somehow, deep down inside, I'm still happy that Connie's is still shorter than mine.

:)

Cure for boredom

2009-06-04T13:36:00.003+08:00

I told Pin Yin that I was bored, now that I've stopped working.

And she highly recommended this. FYI, this is what she does at home most of the time, I would say.

Mum would think that I'm nuts!

Guang Liang likes me!!!

2009-06-03T12:09:00.003+08:00

I was talking to Pin Yin on the phone and all of a sudden, I remembered the dream that I dreamt last night!

You are so not going to believe this, but it did happen! In my dream, of course..

Guang Liang aka Michael Wong has a crush on me! Do you know who he is?? He's a Malaysian singer who made it big in Taiwan. Oh...he's such a lovely boy and I can't believe that he likes me..Hahahaha.

There, the one holding the trophy. I am sure he is not gay because he likes me!!! Not too sure about Gary though XD

It was such a beautiful truth because I still refuse to believe that it's a dream till now!

Maybe he'll propose to me tonight?

Gonna sleep early.

Free like a bird. I'm no longer a 'qiu niao'

2009-06-03T11:01:00.003+08:00

No more work!

I'm officially OFF from the job. That leaves me just one more month before I head to a new destination. Realizing the short amount of time that I have, I admit that I've been a lot crazier and rebellious these days.

And one more announcement to go.

I think my driving for manual cars has improved tremendously. Credits to Connie and her awesome Toyota LE. :))))))

I'm so happy not to be working anymore because I can finally spend some quality time with my friends and family.

Owwh...mum just dated me out.

to Campbell Street.

to buy motorcycle for Aun.

Why do kids these days get so much more privilege that me last time???

No title

2009-06-02T11:27:00.007+08:00

Did you see that??

I have inserted some new songs into my playlist and it has got to be the most awesome playlist I have ever created. They're emo enough, classic enough and I can listen to them wherever I go, since they're embedded inside the blog. So, I'm also doing you guys a favor. Whenever you run out of songs to listen to, come visit my blog. The songs will never fail you, for it has never failed me!

Yesterday seemed to be a marathon of activities to me. After two lunches (one at home and another with Connie and Han Xu), we headed for Sunset Bistro. No, we're not about to get drunk in the broad daylight, rather we were there to enjoy the breeze and serenity. Oh yes, it was really hot and we had even picked a spot closest to the shore (which meant more exposure to sun and heat). But, we also get to see some gorgeous looking lads with six pack abs. That's a plus!

Next up, we picked up Joanne for an expensive dinner at Penang Hill. Pics will be uploaded as soon as I get them and I hope they'll look good!

Right after, I attended another farewell supper at Town Steamboat organised by Nike staffs. It was sponsored by the big boss and woooahhh...my tummy felt like it was going to burst, as I had them barely an hour after dinner. :S Then, we planned to end our night with a glass of warm milk at Air Itam but unfortunately, the milk was out of stock! That means, no more milk for the night. :(:( I guess we never run out of ideas as we finally sealed of our food intake for the night with a glass of bitter tea. Cool, eh?

Bla bla black sheep. I didn't have to count the sheep to sleep.

*time to dream*

Let's yum cha

2009-06-01T11:47:00.002+08:00

I simply ADORE this picture.

Time is squeezing me. I can't breathe !

2009-05-31T21:47:00.006+08:00

I bought a pair of shorts from VOIR yesterday and I thought I fitted in it real well. But today when I put it on again, it felt tighter than it was the day before. This is so frustrating...

It wasn't cheap (even after discount) and here I am, thinking of ways to make it bigger so that I can fit in. :(:(

All of a sudden, the DAY seems to get closer to me. And to make things worse, I have yet to prepare anything. I'm mentally unprepared, physically unprepared (look worn out lately) and I'm emotionally unprepared! With so many preparations yet to be prepared, I just sound like the most unprepared student ever :P

Okay, you guys can help to make my days easier. Get me a few items that I really want.
Better still, give it to me as my farewell gift!

Straight to the point. I need...

1. a scarf (for fashion and it's going to be damn cold when I reach there)
2. a backpack (preferably the max air grey backpack from Nike which costs RM189)
3. a pair of sneakers cos mine are so old and they look like they need to be replaced! Oh, i wear a size 8 (US size). Keep that in mind! >.<
4. electronic gadget, be it a mp3 player or ipod or walkman (I love to sing!)
5. a dress. I love the part in dramas where the guy presents the girl with a really nice dress. Owhh...

That should be it. I hope to receive calls on the contributions you want to make for me SOON!

OH, and if you're sweet enough, get me the mary jane pair from Nike too! RM219 only. Blue color.
I hope I don't sound too greedy back there cos this poor student-to-be here needs to spend on other more important stuffs.

Waiting patiently for your calls.

Ciao. >.<

Only 30 days in June nia....

2009-05-28T16:26:00.004+08:00

Sadly, there are only 30 days in June!

Why???!!! Why only 30 days?

I wish the month of June is longer, so that I can accommodate everything that I want to do into this very period. But, despite all my rants, it is not going to get any longer. It will never be. Unless I choose to ignore July and skip from June to August. I know, you must be thinking, what the hell is wrong with me to be saying such nonsense?

I admit, I'm crazy!

And Ping suggested I consult a psychologist to nurse my worsening depression, or so she called it.

But then again, I still wish I have more time.

Arrrghhhhh.......I had such a hard time sleeping and eating lately. Something has been bugging me. or maybe someone. I don't know. I'm just confused. Very. To the stage of reaching madness. To the stage of being addressed as siao ca bo.

I told Ping, I wish I could teleport YOU to be with me wherever I go. You don't have to shout, I know it's just plain selfish of me to do that. But, I couldn't be bothered anymore. This time, I want to be selfish! I'm not listening to what others have to say anymore. I shall live my own life my own way!

The rest, piss off.

P/s: Just wondering, am I the only one feeling this way?

I really hope that "if the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more, I will still have YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU"

Stupid me, I'll go to sleep now. Because it will never happen.

2009-05-21T22:50:00.003+08:00

Today marks a milestone in my life!

I think I scared the hell out of my friends with my driving but don't worry, they got back safely and I am safe as well. Due to Ee Ping's stern reminder to be in QB by 1.45pm sharp, I sped on the roads and ignored basic traffic rules. I believe I've carved a bad name for myself on the road and I won't be surprised if I were to be labelled as the 'worst driver in penang'. It's still an award, isn't it?

So, the plan today was to meet up and update ourselves about each other. We had lunch at Kenny Rogers and I was really anticipating a good meal like what I had many many years ago. But, it was so disappointing because the mashed potatoes tasted real bad and the food wasn't appetising at all. Sigh. No wonder Nando's outperformed Kenny's in just a few years. You've got to improve, Kenny Rogers!!! Make your mashed potatoes taste like real MASHED POTATOES!

After dropping off nette, we went to pick up Pin Yin and headed for some real hawker food. In the midst of dinner, Pauline's laughter was so LOUD that people nearby looked at us like we were some crazy morons. I bet they were just a bunch of lonely souls who never know the meaning of laughing from the heart. :P

It was a great day.

I'm happy.

Tired too.

Looking for a missing item....something that lives in my heart

2009-05-17T11:04:00.004+08:00

Whenever I tried to sleep, it just felt as if it was the most difficult task in the world. There's something missing in my life but I just have no idea what it is (or perhaps I do not even want to know what it is). The night seemed longer than usual and I could hear every single detail and every single sound that was being made. The sound of my neighbour opening the gate and unlocking the door, the cats meow-ing, the dogs howling, and finally the sound of my own breathing. This total silence was really freaking me out and it was made worse when I couldn't even sleep. Tonnes of images rushed to surround my eyes whenever I tried my best to sleep, causing me to be awake more than ever and there went my marathon of wild thoughts.

Am I doing the right thing now? What is the best for me? Am I sure that it is the best for me? And how sure am I that what I've missed is good or bad for me? These questions were never-ending and they were meant to be answered before I could finally sleep. However, I simply do not have the answers to all these and in the end, I just could not sleep. It's like a cycle that I have to endure through the night. Questions popping out ---> Answers to be filled in ---> Can't sleep without answers ---> Questions re-popped (if there's a word) and it goes on and on.

Truth be told, I'm just good at running and escaping from the facts instead of facing them courageously. This, I've got to admit that it has been within me since I was born 20 years ago and there is certainly no cure for this. I'm just scared. Afraid. Unable to face the harsh reality. Unable to fight the big blow that is soon to be thrown to me. All in all, I'm a coward.

2am. The questions finally came to a halt. And just when I thought I could finally get a great night's sleep without any disturbance, I was wrong. Because that was just the beginning of everything. Next up, I have to face the worst of all, my highly-imaginative and overrated DREAMS which do not make sense at all most of the time. Ironically, the answers to my questions are being answered in my dreams. When it's the answer that I really really anticipate, I rejoiced and danced over it but when it was far from the way I want it to be, I jolted awake. :::(((

I believe my dark under eyes circle can justify as to whether I had a good or bad dream over the last few nights.

I need an antidote. And you know what it is.

2009-05-14T10:55:00.004+08:00

OH yeah, babe. It is much better for me without supper. I don't feel THAT bloated when I woke up this morning.

Two thumbs up this time.

It's my off day for the week! After standing for a horrendous 8 hours almost every day, my feet can finally get their much deserved rest. I'm going to just sit at home today, and abstain from making long walks around the house. This is how lazy I can get when I don't work. Also, I ought to finish that cat-and-mouse series, Last One Standing latest by today because there's just 6 more episodes left!

Then, I need to start building up my playlist by searching for more SAD and EMO songs. This is such a difficult task but I believe I am fit for the job :P

Furthermore, I'm welcoming the return of a really good, pretty, smart, nice, kind, understanding, bright and successful friend. To conclude, she's just so SWEET.

I'm off for now.

By the way, have you seen him around?

*cries*

2009-05-13T11:29:00.003+08:00

It's exactly 11.30am as I'm penning this down. There's nothing so special or significant about the time anyway, so don't bother too much about it.

I believe the late night suppers have taken a toll on my health. My stomach feels so disturbed every morning and it just got worse and worse every day. However, nothing much can be done about it. I have to eat supper after work every night or else, I can't sleep. Too hungry to sleep, to be precise.

So, I'm hereby declaring that supper has become a part of me, despite me warning my friends to stay away from it. Mind you, my supper is never 'light' in terms of calories but those are really heavy ones. Let me recap, I took pork chop rice four nights ago, a big bowl of chicken soup three nights ago, koay teow soup two nights ago, McChicken last night and I'm already thinking of what to eat tonight. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I eventually start to pile on those weight.

XD.

Plus, I've just added a playlist to the blog like minutes ago! The songs pretty much resemble my mood and so, stay tuned if you would like to find out my mood for the day or week.

It's gonna be a list of super sad songs!

I like it.

Thumbs up.

Love.

2009-05-08T13:23:00.002+08:00

Loving it.

It's such a romantic scene and I absolutely love Chen Kun (who is the guy inside the video).

Another video by a local guy, with the title Huai Ren.

Call me the goddess of sad songs!! Wahahahaa........

No title

2009-05-08T11:11:00.003+08:00

The house is a lot quieter without him. His laughter, his cries and his smell. Even Aun misses him a lot and kept calling out his name the moment he wakes up.

Sigh, we just miss him ~ our baby Chen Ying aka Fei Fei.

He is like a Malaysia version of Shayne Ward, maybe just a lil younger.

But you can't deny that he's cute. Charming. Captivating.

And look at the way both of them sleep. Same pattern, same style, same posture.

He even inherited some of my cuteness. Sigh.

How can I not miss him?

He probably won't remember me when he's older, but at least we had the wonderful moments together. Something that no one can rob us of.

I don't know why but I just couldn't sleep lately. It takes an hour or two of rolling on the bed before I could finally sleep and this is really traumatising.

Why am I not sleeping when everyone else is?

Worse is, I'm resorting to extreme measures to get myself to sleep. Something which I would not have done in the past. I ate until I was very full minutes before bedtime and I made myself really tired during the day so that I'm able to get a shut-eye at night. But, they don't seem to work. I kept on jerking out of my sleep every once in a while.

And when I could finally sleep (thank God), the nightmares are never ending. They just came pouring in like the stream and arrghhh...it just doesn't feel good.

Never mind, I shall try other methods today. I will tell you if they work or not.

Andddddddd, before I forget, I need to share with you a song that I really really like and I'm so into it right now.

It's Pei Sing Dai Yuet by Hins Cheung. I don't quite understand the title and the words in the song but I just love the chorus. I reckon it's a sad song btw.

Back soon XXXXD

I'm yours.

2009-05-01T10:42:00.000+08:00

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
And now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my best test
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'ma saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family (2nd time: A lá happy family; 3rd time: A lá peaceful melody)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't hesitate
No more, no more
It cannot wait
The sky is yours!

2009-04-30T22:16:00.002+08:00

Got to give a tight slap to myself.

I almost broke the vow I've made earlier.

Arrghhhhhh...

Looks like the chinese herbal tea isn't that bitter as it seemed. Cos this is much worse.

Stick to it, for God's sake!

P/s: Without realising, it's already the third post of the day. What has gotten into me? ##@!$@!!!!

2009-04-30T21:26:00.002+08:00

太多疑問
知道答案又如何

心痛比快樂更真實
愛為何這樣的諷刺
我忘了這是第幾次
一見你就無法堅持

孤獨比擁抱更真實
愛讓人失去了理智
會不會是我太自私
拒絕更寂寞的日子

放不開
也看不見未來
難道這種不完美
才是愛情真實的樣子

I'll just do it

2009-04-30T10:58:00.003+08:00

Apparently, no one is a bigger sinner than I am, really.

I've never kept to my words or promises that I made earlier, which makes me a really irresponsible person. My actions often differ from what I had in mind. Worse is, my determination (to stick to my words) always collapse when I find it difficult to explain what I just did.

But I ought to change that now.

I'm going to keep to my words and stay out for the betterment of everyone. I NEED to. I HAVE to.

If I don't, please spank me :P

P/s: Stumbled upon a song, (Last Flight Out by Plus One) which I've not heard for years. Now, it's back again.

So, was it fate?

You might have a different answer but I choose to believe in it. Yup, the word FATE. Because that is the only answer to all the questions that have been dancing in my head now.

busy life leading to mood instability....it's true.

2009-04-26T11:47:00.003+08:00

I'm shouting out loudddddd!

I've been busy, busy, busy. Period.

Been busy working and I've been busy searching for items that I should get with my salary. All of a sudden, I fully realize the importance of money. And that is also one thing that drives me to work here in Nike. I need to earn money to get things that I really want. Unfortunately, the things that I want or need often cost me a bomb. At least more than a hundred bucks for each of the items that I need. After counting again and again, the total amount of the items that I want far exceeded the amount I'm earning. What a sad truth to be learnt now that I'm barely working for a month...

Wait a minute.

I should probably start looking from a different angle. I am a lot better than those unfortunate ones, especially those who are starving or homeless elsewhere. At least I have food to eat, a job to support my shopaholism (if there's a term) and a house to live in.

Likewise, they will never have enough food to put on the table for the whole family. They're either starving or living on the charity of others (which is only once in a blue moon). But, we just never seem to be grateful of what we have.

Yes, I'm talking about myself too. I complain a lot about things that I don't have (it's always $, mind you)

Whenever I see people eating half of the food on the plate and leaving the rest of it untouched, there is a sense of madness deep down inside myself that questions their actions. Don't they realize that the food that they're about to throw away can be a week's worth of food for many others? Can't they see how fortunate they are compared to those who have nothing to eat? And so why are they wasting their food? I don't know...it's just...

I just can't tolerate the sight of people wasting food. If you really want to do it, at least do it far away from me. And may God bless you for your actions.

People that I meet

2009-04-17T22:46:00.002+08:00

So, when you fail to catch what the other person is saying, do you blame it on your own low level of understanding or the other person's failure to explain?

At first, I thought it was the former. I thought I was connected wrongly in the antenna and that is why I couldn't receive whatever signals that my colleagues are trying to send to me. But eventually, I start to believe that I am fine.

Perfectly fine indeed.

This is because after a long analysis, I finally know WHY!

The problem surfaces when they talk to me in mandarin very quickly and I often had to make them repeat to me what they intend to say. Sometimes, even after numerous repetition, I still fail to grasp what they're trying to tell me. By then, they will be too annoyed by my 'Huh?" "What?" and ended up getting irritated. Sigh...This is probably why they find it really difficult to talk to me and vice versa.

Apart from this, there are a few things that I had observed during my three weeks of work. And I just got to share it!!

First: Most people love to come when the shop is about to close, that is at 9.44pm. I guess it is just their habit to stop by a minute or two before we close the counter and count the stocks. Worse is, we just cannot refuse their entry. It's business, for God's sake!

And sometimes even after we're closed, there are still people banging on the door, asking us to open and let them come in. They probably love NIKe way tooooooo much..

Second: There is this lady who entered the shop with her son who is about 18 years old. I truly believe that an 18 year old teenager will have the capability to choose what he wants according to his own preferences and not to depend on his mother. But I was wrong again! His mother specifically REQUESTED me to look around the shop for pants that suit her son. If the boy could tell me what he wants, it would be easier as I would just have to bring him over to the respective section. NO!

The boy obviously isn't interested in doing that and depended entirely on his mother to make the choice. And the mother passed on the job to me in looking for the perfect pants for the son. Okay, fine. I'll just have to accept that it's part of my job. So I carried my job dutifully and took all the shorts from the shop (except girls' section, unless he really wants it) and passed it to the boy. He turned to his mother and once again, the mother is making the choice for her son. Well, they did buy a pair at the end but is that what the boy really wants? Or what the mum wants her son to be seen in?

Third: It was a full-packed day where we had the arrival of new stocks. Then, this guy came in. He was smartly dressed, spoke perfect English and looked really gentleman. He took a shirt from the rack and put it on in the fitting room. He then came out and told me he wanted 2 of them. Immediately, I went to the store room and brought out 2 similar shirts for that gentleman. He said he wanted to make sure that they fit and so, he put them on again in the fitting room. This time around, he told me he didn't like the colour. It's the same T shirt, my God!!

This is not the worst yet.

Then, this guy walked to the shoes section and picked one of the shoes on the display board. I asked him for his shoe size and he claimed he doesn't know. So, I asked him to put on the shoe that he wanted to see if it fits. (It was the left side of the shoe btw). He refused. He told me he can only wear his shoe on the right feet and asked me to get the right side of the shoe for him. Once again, I ran to the store room and got him the side he wanted. And I've got to tell you I really want to strangle this guy. Without putting them on, he said it is not nice anymore and he doesn't even want to try it. Now tell me, is this guy fooling around with me? Is he testing my patience??? Argghh....worse is, I even have to smile to him despite me feeling so annoyed and irritated.

Actually, there are just too many stories to share. I meet different type of people everyday where some are extremely nice but some are just....bad..REALLY BAD. They annoy me. They're irritating. They're demanding. They just piss me off.

Unfortunately, those nice ones aren't regular customers but those bad ones are. :(:(:(

I'm predicting bad days ahead....

It's all about the money

2009-04-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

Does money always give one a certain level of power over the others?

Fine.

I admit.

I've got the answers in my hands but maybe, I just refuse to believe in it.

Finally, some answers....

2009-04-13T20:18:00.004+08:00

I have at least one dream every night. Sometimes, multiple of them in one night alone.

And now, I'm really glad that the answers to some of my questions can be unveiled with the help of MSN. It featured an article which explains the top 10 common dreams and I think it's pretty interesting, though some may not be true.

I've done a memory flashback and so far, out of all these 10 dreams, I've encountered at least...half of them. Very common indeed.

1. You find yourself back in the classroom, or you've failed a test. Checked.
I've got a dream about this just days before the SPM and it repeated after the exam finished. I could remember very clearly that I forgot to hand in my BM paper 1 and hence, I failed the whole BM paper miserably. Although I ran to the invigilator and gave a valid but stupid excuse on why I did not hand in the paper, it was of no use. Fail means fail. And failing BM means failing the whole SPM exam. Let's move on....

This dream is alerting you to areas of your life that need repair or extra care right now. You may want to slow down and pay more attention to the realm of life indicated. For example, if you dream of your phone not working, notice how you are communicating to others now. Are you doing everything you can to get your message across in a positive way? If not, you may want to tune up this area of your life.

True. I should slow down a lil.

2. You or a loved one is ill or dying. Checked.
I've dreamt that my friends or family members died, but most importantly, I kept on having dreams that I died. Repeatedly. So many times that I do not know if I am really alive when I woke up the next morning.

You may be approaching a time of great change when some parts of your life are falling away and disappearing. This dream is helping you to practice the feelings of loss that you may be having as the elements of your life or your relationships with others change and evolve. It is rare that this dream forecasts an actual death or illness, but it still might be a good idea to get a checkup or pay extra attention to your health now.

Okay. Rolling exercises into my daily routine now. Whee...

3. Falling, flying, or sinking. Checked. Double checked in fact.
Remember I told you earlier about the 'car crash' with jo? Our car tumbled down from the hill and we flew to heaven right away.

Changing direction, either going up or down in a dream, indicates where your awareness is in waking life. Dreams of falling or sinking symbolize a time of being more aware of your unconscious mind and deepest innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories. Dreams of flying indicate that you are exploring your conscious mind at this time or connecting to the realm of spirits, angels, and other energetic beings.

Didn't know that such simple dreams can have such deep meanings.

10. Water. Checked.
Another dream about a scene that looked like one of those from Anaconda. Still remember this one? I slipped and fell into the rising water.

Water in dreams is a sign that a certain emotional situation or experience is of importance in your life. Now is a good time to pay particular attention to your feelings and the realm of the imagination, dreams, and fantasies. The condition or state of the water will give clues as to the exact nature of your experience. Hurricanes and storms can indicate more challenging emotional situations, and on the opposite side, gentle streams and lakes indicate a more calm and peaceful emotional state or even a love or romantic connection.

I remember it was a flood, made worse by the downpour. Does that mean I am expecting more challenging emotional situations? It must be...

2009-04-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

It seems like my fingers are not listening to me!

2009-04-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

I just can't contain my excitement anymore! I need to share with the world that I just met someone who shares the same features as Lee Hom!

He has long dyed shoulder-length hair, a well-built body, he's tall and most importantly, he is good loooooooooking.

So, it all started at 9.45pm sharp, when I was about to pull down the door (or whatever you call it) to close down our store. In the midst of doing that, a man ran hurriedly towards my direction, obviously wanting to go into the shop. But instead of stopping him, (unexpectedly) I pulled up the door a lil and allowed him to enter the shop.

It seemed that he was looking for a pair of shoes and of course, I carried out my job dilligently and recommended a few pairs to him. But guess what??!!!!

He just looked smackingly good in every single pair that he wore

but but but.......

I just couldn't communicate with him. I bet he couldn't understand me as well :(
He was talking to me in Mandarin while I was replying him in a mixture of mandarin/chinese/english.

LANGUAGE BARRIER!!!

Anyway, when he asked me which pair he looked good in, I really wanted to tell him he looks great in all those shoes! But, I just did not have the courage to do so.. :(

So, while I was packing those leftover shoes into the boxes, he walked to me from the counter and told me he was going to make his payment instead of just making his payment straight away.

Is he being cute or silly? Tell me....

P/s: I've scouted around. He's not working anywhere near Nike :( :( :(

it's a Friday but I'm not jumping!

2009-04-10T13:55:00.003+08:00

At last, I've finished the whole 30 episodes of EU and I'm getting mixed feelings right now. It wasn't a really good ending as the lead actor was not blessed with his own happiness at the end of the day.

It was such a sad finale.

I was really really really hoping that he'll get back with his girlfriend after everything has been cleared.
But no, it didn't. It's a big blow to me here but I think I'll get over it real soon. Sigh.

For the moment, I guess my TVB drama craze has ceased a lil and I shall divert my attention to something more useful, for instance, finishing the story of A Thousand Splendid Suns. It's a book that I bought few months back but have yet to be completed. I just can't seem to sit still and finish the whole book like many others. Lack of self-discipline fits me.

Well, many has asked about my work but I'm pretty lazy to update them one by one. So, what I'll do is to write them all here so that I can reach out to everyone, regardless of whether you want to know it or not :)

When I first started work, it was pretty awkward because as a rookie, I could not fit into their conversations and I only stood at the side. Of course, that period of time was really difficult for me because I had to act tough to everyone that I can pull it through, when in fact I couldn't. I just didn't want to be alienated by my colleagues and lead the life of a sole ranger while working there.

But, I'm really glad that everything is improving now. They've started talking to me and I think we're beginning to bond. (Hope that they're thinking the same way like me here)

However, once in a while, my mind will drift back to months ago, where we had our last semester. In fact, I should be attending class at the point of writing, but I'm not.

Everything has changed.

Time has moved on fast and I should be adjusting to the changes.

People come and go.
I may not have much time for them but I really want them to know that I appreciate everything they've done for me back in college. Perhaps, getting them as my friends is one of the best gifts that God has offered me.

Why am I getting so sentimental lately ???

This is what happens when I'm bored

2009-04-08T17:11:00.003+08:00

I feel envious whenever I see couples holding hands walking into the shop.

Within seconds, I would start imagining myself in the girl's shoes.

I would start picturing myself being the happy girl, with my hand being held tightly by my prince charming. And yeah, I do know that it is really silly to still believe in the concept of prince charming these days, but are you certain that it will not occur at all?

To be honest, I'm still harbouring my hope to meet one, at least ONE in my life.

Still, only if I'm lucky enough to meet HIM.

my new routine

2009-04-08T10:22:00.004+08:00

The weather has changed a lot lately.

It'll be real sunny in the morning/noon and rain/drizzle almost every night. This, has caused me to fall sick because I have not been practising good eating regime since I started work. Most of the time, I used the break time to get a short nap instead of filling my stomach with food. I may be inducing gastric in the long run, but sleepiness also prevents me from working efficiently.

So, sleep is the best. I'll get my energy replenished in no time and it feels great sleeping in the store room.

I'm not joking at all when I say that the environment in the store room just makes you wanna sleep in it. It's dimly lit, it has got air con and it has the best cushion ever. And if you want additional pillows, just get the piles of clothes and lean on them.

Basically, I just try to make myself comfortable by DIY-ing my artificial 'bedroom'.
*laughing heartily*

:>

2009-04-05T10:58:00.003+08:00

Congratulations to myself!!

Proud to say that I've managed to survive my job for the first 4 days and I believe I will make it through the coming 3 months. Basically, my job involves housekeeping (only if I work on morning shifts), serving the customers, checking the stocks in the store room and double checking the clothes before closing the shop (for noon shift).

The pay might be little, but the satisfaction derived is beyond words. No, it never crossed my mind that I will take up this job at all. Many thought that I will quit after the first day, but I shall prove them wrong this time.

YOUR intention to bring me down has not worked its power on me, rather, it made me stood even stronger as an adult.

Sad things aside.

P/s: I was really glad that Connie and Jo had come to pick me up after work on the first day. It was really loving.

2009-04-03T10:29:00.003+08:00

I started work on a very special day - the April Fool. Thinking that I would not get fooled on this very day is wrong indeed.

People, I just got April Fooled by a friend studying in the US!!!!

2009-04-01T11:03:00.003+08:00

I've been tagged but I shall make some changes to the rule. I will complete the questions but I shall just end it here. No more further tagging my friends (cos I have no one to tag!).

So basically, I'm supposed to
i) Copy to my own note, erase others' answers, enter mine, and tag 10 people (which I'm going to ignore).
ii) Then, use the first letter of my name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up!
iii)If the person before me had the same first initial, I must use different answers. I cannot use any word twice and I can't use my name for the boy/girl name question.
iv)Have fun with myself! *err..I'll try*

1. What is your name: Fern

2. A four Letter Word: fear

3. A boy's Name: Fernando

4. A girl's Name: Faye

5. An occupation: fisherman

6. A color: fushchia

7. Something you wear: flower to be clipped on to your hair?

8. A food: fish

9. Something found in the bathroom: faeces ? (belong to the babies'. *wink*)

10. A place: France

11. A reason for being late: fell and hit the nose

12. Something you shout: Fall but I will not catch you

13. A movie title: Friends?

14. Something you drink: fresh juices

15. A musical group: FIR (from Taiwan)

16. An animal: fat pig?

It ain't that fun though =P

2009-04-01T11:00:00.002+08:00

SHOUT out LOUDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!

2009-03-29T14:35:00.003+08:00

We held a lil birthday celebration for granny last night. It was just a small family affair at a steamboat restaurant and I think she was really happy that most of us were there, except my two sisters in Melbourne. But, they did call and wish her :)

We had bought this really pretty green tea cake from Ritz Cake House and glad to say that it didn't disappoint us at all. (I even secretly kept a slice of it in the fridge for my supper that night) :P

So, granny probably had a good night sleep while me, sigh...stalked by bad dreams. I once read an article and it said that eating sweet food before you hit the sack will actually bring you sweet dreams. And that was why I cleared off the cake without leaving any traces of it.

But, it didn't work!

Now, who's the one who wrote the article???!

sleepless night

2009-03-29T08:15:00.005+08:00

I couldn't get myself to sleep last night. I was rolling all over the bed for two hours and still, I couldn't get to the dreamland. Perhaps, things were rushing through my mind so fast that it looked like how the F1 drivers started off at the beginning of the race. Put simply, I just couldn't sleep. My eyes were shut but my mind was still very much aware of the surrounding. I could hear the sound of mosquitoes buzzing near my ears and I could hear cars passing by. This is certainly not the type of sleep that I hope for.

And when I could finally sleep, I had a bad dream.

P/s: My eyebags have gotten more obvious now and I am definitely more panda look-alike.

i'm burnt.

2009-03-28T22:43:00.007+08:00

I got up really early this morning.

The alarm was supposed to ring at 6 in the morning but being the sleepaholic, I snoozed it until 6.20am. Only then I realized it was freaking late and I was supposed to get off from the bed and help my mum for the Qing Ming festival. Actually, I wasn't of much assistance to her but I just want to make myself look really busy :) But this year, I was given a task. A really important one. I needed to get breakfast for everyone in the family. Eh, don't say this is not important. It is, all right? No breakfast, no energy. No energy, no mood.

No mood = NOT GOOD lah. What else? By the way, it was really fun to drive early in the morning. It felt like the whole road belonged to you.

So, you can drive, speed and turn in the most dangerous way you want. JUST don't beat the traffic lights. Who knows there might be some drunk drivers speeding and possibly kill you with their recklessness?

Okay, we finally reached the cemetery at 8.45am. I agree that it was already late. But, luckily it was pretty easy to find a parking space. Oh btw, the place I was referring to was Kubang Semang. OR Kuala Semang. Can't remember it that well. But the 'semang' word was definitely there. So, without wasting further time, we divided ourselves into two groups. One for my great great grandmother and another for my grandfather. We were supposed to hunt for their tomb and inform each other through the cell phones once we locate it. This time, we took longer that we should because both teams failed miserably. We couldn't remember where the tombs were and mind you, the place was huge. And the morning sun was emitting its full power. But luckily, we still manage to locate them. A consolation for us?

The first stop. My great great grandmother's tomb. One year ago, I stepped into this place and it was really clean. Spanking clean. Now, it was all covered with coarse grass. Immediately, we moved into action. The guys removed the grass from the 'top' while I was solely in charge to remove the grass from the ground. So, there I was. Digging and pulling the grass with one hand, while wiping off my sweat with the other available hand. I was happily removing the earth when I had an encounter with a worm. A fat worm, I would say. I bet I had accidentally disrupted its morning sleep. My bad.

But YOU were just at the wrong spot. And YOU happened to meet the wrong lady. xD

All right, without further ado, we proceeded to the next tomb which was metres away from the first. But still, we took longer than we should to spot it. There, we laid down the offerings which included two chickens, eggs, kuehs, pineapple and fruits. Then came to the part which I loved most. The pineapple-cutting session. Usually, my father will assume his role as the man of the family and slice the pineapple all over the grave and finally leave the last bits for us to savour. The role was passed to brother this year. I don't know why but this ritual just catches my attention and I have always wanted to be part of it. Even if it meant standing under the hot sun for my grandfather to 'arrive' and 'eat'. :)

Minutes later, we threw the coins to check if grandpa has in fact finished his heavy breakfast and CLING...
he had.

Immediately, we cleared everything and marched our way to the car for the next spot. It was time to deliver the food to my great grandmother at Kulim.

Something really scary happened here. It gave me goosebumps and I just couldn't stop slapping my mouth for fear of uttering the wrong words. I was joking with my brother about calling great grandmother and ask her if she was having fun in the other world. My auntie, who overheard our conversation, interrupted and said that we might just wake great grandma up from the grave since we wanted to talk to her so badly. Yeah, this part isn't scary. Not until I tilted my head 45 degrees to the left. I saw a grave. There was a big hole in it. It looked as if 'someone' had just woken up from the huge pile of earth. Like mummy or the Chinese vampire that you see on the tv. Serious enough. I just didn't have a good feeling about this. I couldn't resist slapping my mouth.

Then, everything finally came to an end just minutes before noon. We were all tired, dirty, burnt and HUNGRY. To feed ourselves, we headed to Bukit Mertajam's famous bee chai bak stall at 40km/h. Yeah, it was rather slow but guess what slowed us down? None other than the huge lorries laden with earth or steel dominating the road with its body. Tell me, will you dare to overtake these lorries when the road was so narrow and the cars coming from the opposite side were at full speed?

Still, we managed to reach the stall. We ate like we have not eaten in a thousand days and I forgot if I had washed my hands before I picked up that chopsticks and started pushing the noodles into my mouth. I guessed hunger overruled hygiene at that moment.

Right after, we headed back home and it was already 1pm. We have never been that late in the past and this year definitely made its way into the record. All the way, we reminisced about our past as we passed by familiar places. From the market to the supermarket and finally the BM high school. Can't believe that I once lived here in BM. And now, I'm here in Penang. After a round of calculation, Penang still has my vote.

SAYA CINTAI PULAU PINANG BANYAK-BANYAK.

Agenda for tomorrow: Kek Lok Si Temple for my grandparents (mother's side) and Miau Hiang Lim (uncle).

Then, evening nap?

P/s: I was sun burnt so badly that I probably look like a panda now. FYI, only the area below my eyes got burnt compared to the remaining skin. No explanation for this. Just don't laugh.

It's a Friday! Jump, people!

2009-03-27T10:10:00.004+08:00

WOW....imagine how long it has been since I last laid my fingers on this 'close-to-defunct' blog of mine?

And look at the comments!! Even YC was here...

Allright, I shall start off by providing some updates on what I've been doing for the past....few months.
So, I've ended the last semester pretty well by scoring a string of As ( only 2 to be exact) and I'm feeling really good about it. What a wonderful and happy ending to my 2 years-4 months course :) Yes, it might be a long duration but I've managed to learn a lot from my friends and these knowledge are indispensible. However, it is a must to bid farewell to these people and I'm wishing them a smooth journey ahead.

Then, I really got to tell you guys about these weird dreams that have been stalking me for the last few days! I must say that I've gotten really imaginative during the holiday season because my dreams, woah...i think they can be used for film-making. Whee.......

First, I dreamt that I crashed the car with Joanne seated at the passenger seat. It took place somewhere along the stretch of Balik Pulau-Teluk Bahang and it was really scary. I was driving happily until I encountered a sharp turning ahead of me. I think I wasn't able to brake in time and piuuuuu, we had a free fall and rolled down the slope. One good thing about this dream is that we didn't suffer in the incident, instead, we went straight to heaven because I could feel serenity after we crashed the car. So, if any of you guys happen to possess the power to interpret this dream, kindly drop me a message okay?

And did I tell you that I was hit in the head by a stray bullet fired by the police? No, I am not writing this from a near-death experience. I mean, it was a dream. But I've got to rate this dream 10/10 because it seemed so real that I cried when I woke up. I didn't want to die that young. I still have so many things to do and it isnt fair for me to just die like that. I don't want! It's unfair!!! Besides, the robbers were supposed to die, not me! I was just an innocent girl, driving a little green viva who happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. So people, pls pray for me if you still want to see me hit the street in the little 'V'.

As for the rest of the dreams, they're either too long to be written here or I've forgotten about them. But fret not, I believe I will have more mind-blowing dreams to come.

WOW again. I think I'm getting the inspiration for the next post already...

Be right back.
>.<